I don't like to feel sorry for myself. Who does? Its pathetic, it is not? Who wants to be so miserable that they get joy out of directing pity inward? I would like to hope that no one would. However, for today and today only, I am feeling sorry for myself. Not only am I feeling sorry for myself, but I am actually feeling extremely selfish as well. To show you just how selfish I am feeling, I would like you to join me in feeling sorry for me. That's kind of fucked up, isn't it? Why on earth would I want people to feel sorry for me? For you information, I could't have a better reason; I just turned my television to the E! network! 

I know, I know, why would anyone ever do such a thing? I honestly couldn't tell you. However, I can tell you one thing from the 37 seconds of television I just witnessed; as a society, we are completely and utterly fucked. I just saw a commercial for a show called Bridalplasty. This is the sickest thing that I have ever seen, and I have seen Caligula....

I understand that reality television is nothing new. I understand that the intellectual bar has been consistently lowered for the last decade in a way that it never has before. However, I have never seen anything this disturbing in my entire life. The basic premise of the show, or so I gathered from the tiny amount that I could stomach, is that a large group of women are competing for a chance to get a full body butchering just in time for their dream wedding. The winner of each challenge gets small prizes, like BOTOX injections...

Yes, the people that want to participate in this are fucked up. However, this comes full circle, which I will explain  in a bit. What is more fucked up is that there are people that dream this shit up. There are board meetings, and discussion groups of people that prey on the fears, insecurities and vanity of the American people, just so they can use these things against them to force them to compete and lower any standards that they may have once had. What they are competing for is perfection; something that simply doesn't exist. Or does it? Well, it does actually, on these television shows! It all comes full circle. If there ever was a twisted cycle of shit eating, this is certainly it. However, when the average Josephine is constantly comparing themselves to images on the tv, who can blame them for eventually losing track of reality? The producers of this bile are hoping that you do! 

However, what is more fucked up than the peddlers of this garbage or the contestants are people like you and me. People that turn on the tv and see this shit and say to ourselves, "haha, look at the trash!" I have news for you, but this makes you just as bad, if not worse. If you set aside time to watch The Jersey Shore because you think that Snooki is insanely trashy, then chances are you could someday be a cast member on one of these shows. 

We are constantly being dumbed down as a nation. All of the popular music that we hear on the radio is made to be sold. The movies we watch are remakes of movies we watched as kids. The news programs we watch are commercials disguised as anything but a commercial. Now we have stooped so low as to watch people that struggle with body issues fight for plastic surgery so they can be the "perfect person"? 

I'll pass. but you can do whatever you'd like. However, when we are working as slaves in a sweatshop making fake body parts that will be sold to.. well, us, don't say I didn't warn you! 

Shoot the messenger-- IN THE FACE

The Holidays are a wonderful time of year, are they not? There is wonderful snow, jammed roads, commercials that show us that women will pretty much do ANYTHING for diamonds and inflatable Christmas globes in front of houses that contain starving children. The Holidays are the perfect time in America to sit back and look at just how misguided the priorities of the average person truly are. I was hoping that this year would be different than the countless Holidays before, but chances for that are typically slim.

Luckily, this year Julian Assange and the other tireless volunteers at Wikileaks have given us all an early gift; the gift of information. Yes, that is right. Information. And what could be bad about that? Well, there are certainly those that are already saying that this is far worse than bad, this is TERRORISM! Yawn. I mean, YAWN. Americans have been hearing talking heads ramble about these cable leaks for the last 48 hours and have already come to their own conclusions- and that is that they do not have the ability to come to their own conclusions. I heard it with my own ears, a person that makes a living working for a company that makes machines that kill people in wars calling Wikileaks a terrorist organization. That is extremely interesting to me, for very obvious reasons.

See, I was always taught as a kid to not be an asshole to other people. If you know me, you know that I failed pretty hard in that field, but I can certainly acknowledge that I am at times, an asshole. Since I have been able to come to that conclusion, I will use myself in a hypothetical situation. Say I am in second grade, and I am talking while the teacher is talking, using curse words and taking other people's drawings and then drawing underwear on the faces of the people in said drawings*. This could potentially make the kids around me angry. Now, not all of the kids are going to say anything, because they may not want their Big Bird picture to get some BVDs drawn on them, so they sit quiet. However, there may be that one person that is just upset enough that she is going to stop what she is doing and interrupt the teacher to tell her what I am doing. Well, when the teacher made me go sit in the hall, it wasn't because one girl got pissed off enough to tell on me, it was because I was being a snot nosed prick and my own actions got me into trouble. I will be the first to admit that the hypothetical second grade me in this perhaps fictional tale was pretty pissed at the whistleblower that got me into trouble, but at the end of the day I can clearly remember what I was thinking; why in the hell did I do those things? Am I an idiot? It wasn't easy, but I was able to walk over to the girl with the ruined drawing at the end of the day and say, "I'm sorry I drew underwear on your picture, no hard feelings that you told on me". It was quite the life lesson. We all moved on. It was really pretty simple, was it not?

Of course, knowing that Saudi Arabia is a large funder of terrorism, and is pressuring the US to bomb Iran(not to be confused with the hit single by John McCain http://www.cnn.com/POLITICS/blogs/politicalticker/2007/04/mccain-sings-bomb-bomb-iran.html) or that Yemen and the US have agreed to lie to the public about US war planes bombing targets in Yemen, or the US using Embassies for spying on EVERYONE is much hard to move on from than underwear, but all are pretty shitty(you see what I did there!?)

So, now that we have this information, we have options. Number 1 is that we completely ignore it and watch sports on tv and go to work and talk about how "we" almost won on Sunday. This will be used by most of the pleasantly ignorant public. That's fine, just stop saying "we" you bastards... Option 2 is that we ACTUALLY READ THESE DOCUMENTS OURSELVES AND MAKE OUR OWN JUDGEMENTS. This will not happen on a large scale, but of the 3 options, it is clearly the best. We have the information, so why not bitch and kick and scream at our leaders that are doing all of this fucked up shit so they know its not ok anymore. Its a small chance, but if we tell these turds to actually work FOR US as they pretend they are, then maybe they will. Crazy, I know, the thought of informing ourselves and acting on said information. That would be dumb. Which leads me to number three. GET PISSED! Not at our leaders, but AT WIKILEAKS! Blame the messenger. And don't just shoot them, lock them up at Gitmo and throw away the key!! Call them criminals! Call them terrorists! Make everyone hate them by saying that they are putting innocent troops and diplomats in harms way! Call for their heads! You know what, block off all news outlets that aren't Fox and make the internet completely harmless! Make them pa....

What the fuck, why did you interrupt me, I was ranting and raving and shit! Oh,option three has already happened and the internet is being completely attacked? Obama said that "countless lives are at stake because of this? ICE is taking down bit torrent sites for no reason whatsoever? Really? Way to go America! Blissfully fucking ignorant since 1776!

Read the cables ya dongs!

http://cablegate.wikileaks.org/

* That story was true. I was a fucking weird little shit in the second grade.

PETA is stupid, and other ramblings

Hello anyone that may still want to read this. I know its been a while since I posted last, so if you are still there, cool.

Let's see, what has been going on lately.. Oh yeah Bush is gone! How exciting is that though, seriously! I'm not super huge on Barack Obama, but his first week in office was kinda great! Gitmo? Closed! Global gag rule? Gone!!! Ban on stem cell research? Lifted! How can one not be excited? At the same time, we have to be weary. Anyone is going to look awesome compared to Bush.Hell, I'd take Condi over him. Are we better off now than we were a year ago? Not even slightly. Our economy is fucked. The rich are staying that way and the poor are getting moreso. Is this new? Not at all. However, it is happening a lot faster now. Bottom line is, a new, black president doesn't mean progression. Its a step, but its a small step.

What else. Oh! I fucking hate PETA! I'm vegan and think they are dispicable. All of their ads are sexist bullshit. As huge as the animal rights struggle is, its offensive that they can bring it down to such a pathetic level. OMG, a sterotypical "hot chick" is naked with a tomato! Pathetic. Fuck you, Ingrid Newark.

I feel like such.a tool. I'm posting this from my Blackberry. I shouldn't love this phone this much....

That's all folks. More later!

Thanksgiving!

Hello everyone. I hope that you have nice families to spend your holiday with, a roof over your head and some yummy food to eat. I am very fortunate in that I do have these things, and Im very much looking forward to enjoying all of them this weekend. Well, I guess Im more mooching off of my girlfriends wonderful family, but they treat me better than my own, so same thing!



Anyhow, obviously there are millions of people in this country that dont have these things. I urge people to donate whatever they have, no matter how little or how great, to whatever local organizations that you have that can feed the needy in your city or area. Based off of my "eat the rich, hate the poor" blog, I honestly try to give to non religion oriented organizations, but that doesnt mean that churches arent feeding people as well, even if they offer a large helping of rhetoric for dessert.. However, food is food. I also urge people to not only donate at the holidays, but year round when you are able to. People are hungry all year, not just at the end of the year. If you somehow stumbled here from my bands page and you come see a show in Cincinnati sometime, bring a few canned goods. I promise not to eat them, I will donate them to the Freestore.



I always like to focus on the positive when I can, but there is something else that bugs me that I would like to talk about today, and its a topic that is a sore topic for many and it gets heated at times. I dont want to come off as preachy, and I do believe that each person can make their own choice in this matter.



What am I discussing is incorporating compassion and ethics at the dinner table. As America lines up to buy turkeys, millions of animals will lose their lives and go through pain that we could never imagine just because they were born. This is insanely unfair.



I want to get this out right now. People hear that I am a vegetarian(have been vegan) in the past and the first thing that they bring up is "HEY, PETA". Ok, as a supporter of their cause, Im going to say fuck PETA. They do some great things, they work very hard for what they believe and they save many animals a year. I have supported them in the past on some issues and I will no doubt support them in the future as well. However, I have grown to become quite disgusted with their use of sexist propaganda to get their word across. I dont understand exploiting one group to save another. PETA turns more people OFF of animals rights in the mainstream then on, and I dont think that you should take them that seriously because of some of the ridiculous things that they say to get attention.



So please, dont associate all compassion for animals with extremist and childish organizations.



Anyway, all of us feel pain. And, we dont like it. I can get into plenty of reasons why eating meat is a tad bit irresponsible; its unhealthy due to lax controls on pesticides fed to animals, with the money it takes to raise a cow to die we could grow food for hundreds to eat and live, etc. No, Im going to go with the simple reason. Pain. Animals in slaughterhouses kick, scream, cry, etc. They arent stupid, they know whats coming. Why should they have to be literally tortured so we can eat food that really isnt very healthy/safe? It doesnt make sense to me. I dont eat meat because I dont believe in inflicting harm on animals or people. I love my life and I appreciate every breath I take, and I will do everything in my power to see that animals can as well.


Sure, alot of us have pets. We love our dogs, cats, etc. We would NEVER eat them!! Why? Because they are cute, and society says its crazy because of that. Why should cows, pigs and chickens be literally brought on this planet to live a life of torture, and thats ok, but its wrong to eat a dog? Why is it tradition for the President to pardon a turkey? Its obviously pardoning it from death, and we acknowledge that, but we make a sadistic game out of it. Weird...



Sure, it tastes good to many people. Sure, I wont argue its human nature. Killing is in our blood. We dont kill people because its wrong, so why is that not the case for animals. After all, we are all in the same kingdom, and alot of what we eat are mammals, just like us!



Again, these are my thoughts, and I am doing my best to not preach and come off as "holier than thou". I just strongly believe in these things and I want to share them. Thanksgiving is a sad time for the poor little animals that have no idea why they are being dipped in scalding hot water. Sure, its food to us, but before that it was a living breathing, feeling creature. And it lived a miserable painful life for nothing. Bummer, no?



For information on a meat free life style, check out http://www.veganoutreach.org/. They are an amazing group doing great things.



Pass the stuffing, but lets pardon all of the Turkeys this year, k?



Happy Thanksgiving, Ill be bitching about things in a day or two!

The power of Christ compels you!

Hey, whatsup! Some people seem to be reading this, thats awesome. Tell all your friends, well have fun!


Anyhow, I know Im a little late on a topic like this(about a month, to be exact...) but I figured it was a decent topic. Ok, here goes...


So, yesterday my girlfriend and I were enjoying a nice evening in, and I was washing some dishes, as we were getting ready to cook dinner. So, we have been watching the Unsolved Mysteries boxsets all day, because it was just that kind of nice, relaxing day. We love Unsolved Mysteries, and if you dont something is wrong with you, and should get checked out. So, anyway, as Im watching dishes, one of the episodes on the dvd is about Demonic Possesion, and Exorcisms and shit like that. Now, I dont believe in God, and I havent since about 3rd grade. However, ghost stories really intrigue me. I have always been into stuff like that. My girlfriend is always thinking Im crazy because I never read stuff like Doctor Seuss when I was a kid, but thats because in first grade I would check out books about the occult, UFOS, ghosts, legends, etc. Ive always been fascinated with the unknown. So, anyhow, being that I dont believe in God, Heaven, Hell, or anything of that stuff, I doesnt make sense that I would believe in "ghosts". And Im not sure that I do, though as said before, they intrigue the hell out of me. But for some reason, the topic of Demonic Possesion absolutely TERRIFIES me.

I truly cant explain it. I dont believe in demons, the devil, ghosts invading spirits, etc, but whenever I watch some silly special on shit like this, I get all freaked out. Obviously its disturbing to see someone with such a strong mental illness that makes them think that a demon is in their body, sure, thats a given. But sometimes in the back of my mind Im like, "hrm, maybe Im wrong on this, cause that looks fucked up. I did vote for Kerry in 04, so Ive certainly been wrong before. Hell, I bought the first Taking Back Sunday record, sometimes I obviously dont think things through.."



So, these dumb thoughts will run through my mind, and Ill start really scaring myself. Lastnight after rehearsal I tried to sleep and I woke up around 2am. I was pretty awake for some reason and realized I was hearing a tapping sound in my kitchen. I went in there, and nothing. I went to take a pee, because I do that sometimes, and I hear this noise again, a tapping, coming from my bedroom(the other side of my apartment, where I obviously was before checking out the noise in the kitchen) and by now Im kinda freaked out. So, I turn the lights on and see if my cat is doing something, but he isnt, in fact, hes fast asleep. Any normal night, I wouldnt give two thoughts to these noises. I live in the city, I hear weird shit outside every night. My window in my living room was open a tad, so the wind could have been blowing. It could have been someone outside in a car, as this happens alot. It could have been anything, and on any given night it would have been. But not lastnight. No, because lastnight I was sure it was something fucked up that I couldnt explain. Why? Because I was freaking myself out over nonsense. We all do it. You get freaked about something and then the next thing you know you wish it was morning and you were on your way to work. Or, Im a huge baby, who knows. Anyhow, the noise continued off and on for about an hour, and I figured it may have been a neighbor downstairs, as I did hear the water at some point. The weird thing is, I dont think anyone lives in the unit below me, as that is the only unit who I do not know who lives there... So yeah. I was creeped. Then it stopped, and I went right to sleep!

So, sure, this story is completely boring, but it freaked me out, ALOT.

So I ask you people that read this: What kind of fucked up crazy shit has scared the hell out of you over the years? Ive got a couple of good stories about my Moms house as well, but Ill save em for another rainy day. I dont want anyone to answer this with "Pete Wentz had a child". Sure, thats terrifying, but not what Im going for here.

Everyone have a safe Holiday this week, and spare a poor turkey and eat some veggies, kplzthnx!

Music!

Good evening to all. I for one am rather happy that here in the Midwest, its pretty fuckin cold! I love the cold, really, nothing feels better than walking outside and flipping the color up on your coat to stay warm. Its such a clean, crisp feeling. I love it!

So instead of bitching about how President Elect Barack Obama is nothing more than a Bill Clinton Part 2(he is though, way to go on being 2/2 on the clinton cabinet!!), I would rather talking about something that is exciting. The one thing that is guaranteed to excite me no matter what; music!

Music is pretty important. Without music, I have no idea what I would be doing with my spare time. I wouldnt know any of the people I know right now if it werent for music, and thats a fact. Today Im going to talk about "punk rock" and what it means to me.

I can hear the groans, what a lame topic, but fuck it, lets talk about it. When the average joe hears the words "punk rock" they think of morons in studded wrist bands beating the shit out of each other to a really bad off time band of lowlifes. This is still true to some extent... To me however, punk has always been about positivity. Im 26 years old, which means in 94 I was in the 6th grade. Who in the 6th grade knows anything about the underground? No one, unless you are a crack baby. So OF COURSE when Green Day, Offspring and Rancid were on the radio, I was completely in awe of how different it was from Nirvana, Metalica, Soundgarden, NIN and all the other 90s things that kids were listening to at the time. I still remember to this day the first time I bought Dookie, it was at a Biggs Hypermarket, on cassette. I bought it with Christmas money, and I also bought Boyz2Men II that day as well(because I have class). I took that tape home and listened to it a million times. I stretched the tape out in about a week. Sure, I was still into all of the MTV stuff that kids were into at the time, and IM pretty sure I had one of those Kurt Cobain, 1967-1994 tshirts that everyone had after he painted the room above his garage with his last tripped out thought. But no, this Green Day band was different! It was just unapologetic, catchy, but bold at the same time, and you just didnt know what to expect. Their lyrics and videos were somewhat vulgar, and yet they had this massive appeal. I FUCKING LOVED IT!! My 7th grade year Im pretty sure I owned like, 4 Green Day shirts. I wasnt special, there are literally 100s of thousands of kids my age that were the exact same. I was pretty into the grunge thing still in 7th grade though, I had some long hair and actually listened to Bush... Yeah, I know...

Cut to about a year later. That means 8th grade, if you werent paying attention. I had been plucking around on my first electric guitar that my parents got for me for 35 bucks at an yardsale type deal. I had no idea how to play, and I had this little battery powered amp. It was sad. So, a friend of mine, he was going to play bass, and we were going to start a band. He didnt have a bass, and I couldnt play a chord, but fuck it, we were a band. He said he knew some kid down the street that had some drums, and he was going to drum for us, and it was going to be freakin great. So like I said, Im still into shit like Stone Temple Pilots at the time, but I still really love Green Day! I cant put my finger on it, and by now everyone is telling me how "gay" I am for liking Green Day(not the most tolerant area, the Midwest). So, we get to this soon to be drummers house, and he has THE BIGGEST FUCKING STEREO I HAVE EVER SEEN. And hes fucking CRANKING some shit Ive never heard before. I hear some loud music behind a guy singing "Go to hell with Superman and die like a champion, yahea!!!!" It was the most AWESOME THING EVER. So, I ask this guy, "what the fuck is this, this rules!!" He told me that was nothing, and took the cd out of the player(i was still on cassettes, so color me fucking impressed). What he tossed me was what would send me on my journey to no health insurance and a rock hard liver; Epitaph records compilation, Punk-o-Rama.

Punk o Rama. I had never heard of any of these bands. Who the fuck are Bad Religion?? AWESOME, thats WHAT!! OH! And Rancid and Offspring are on here as well, cool! I know them! This music is so different, its so, I dunno, it reminds me of something, its... Holy shit, wait, is Green Day a punk band, I asked my friend. He tells me that he thinks so, and that they are pretty good. I certainly agree, as I have everything up to Insomniac at that point, and its all awesome.

So my new friend made me a tape copy of Punkorama. I listened to it an unhealthy amount, and I wanted more and more. I got to know this guy pretty well, and every day we had band practice. Granted, band practice meant I would bring my guitar over, throw itin the corner and we would use his new indoor skate ramp while eating pretzels and listening to Pennywise. Man, I fuckin loved Pennywise! THEY WERE SO FAST, HOW DOES A BAND GET SO FAST?? Our mutal friend Brandon was from the Charleston SC area, and he met us in school. He was kinda new, but he loved alot of punk bands I had never heard of. One day, my mom takes my drummer friend and I, along with Brandon, to the record store. Of course our drummer friend was the only one whose parents gave him money, so it was him doing the buying. So, we go into Cd World, the old location for all you Cincinnatians, and he asks the lady behind the counter if she likes a band he had heard on a few comps called NOFX. Her pink hair and nose ring were a dead give away, and she walked us over to all of the NOFX cds. Being that they had a lot of shit out(I think Heavy Petting Zoo was the most recent) we didnt have a CLUE what to pick up, so we asked her, what should we get if this is our first NOFX record? Ill never forget her response. She said, dont get Liberal Animation. It doesnt suck, but it kinda does. Ok.. well, how about this one? THAT ONE RULES! Ok, awesome. So we get back in my Moms minivan, all crowding around one dude with a discman(as I said, dudes parents gave him everything!) and listened to White Trash, Two Heebs and a Bean. When 11th grade rolled around and I finally got the joke, I LOVED IT MORE! So anyhow, we were floored. This band was the best fucking band we had ever heard, and I dont think I listened to Nirvana again for 12 years.

So, over the years, working shitty jobs, we would spend our entire paychecks buying whatever cds we could find by bands on all of these awesome comps. We had Epitaph pretty much locked down, hahaha. Then one day we learned that one of the dudes from NOFX had his own label, and it was supposed to be good. They had EVEN MORE BANDS that we had never heard of, and holy fuck, they are awesome! This No Use For a Name band is good!! Of course we were skateboarding, getting into trouble, watching skate videos, and the next thing we know its 9th grade and were a part of a pretty tight knit circle. We parted ways with the drummer boy, but Brandon and I remained close friends. We had it all, studded belts, orange hair, our own discmans, we didnt care what the "jocks" or the "thugs" thought and by the end of the year we were on our way to our first show ever, Ska Against Racism.

Now, as much as Ive grown to hate Ska, alot of bands were doing it then that I liked; Rancid did it a tad, I loved Op Ivy, NOFX threw upstrokes in there.. So we felt we should go. Plus, Brandon was really into this band called Less than Jake, who I had never heard of. So, we watch the show, and its the greatest thing we had ever seen. ALl these cool people, the loud music, the bands being hilarious, Mike Park dancing like an idiot, it was just amazing! I even met someone from 5 Iron Frenzy, which was cool at the time. Less than Jake were awesome! I bought Losing Streak and loved every second of it.

By 10th grade we would go to any show that was coming to Bogarts(our local 1200 capacity venue that we "cool enough" to know about)even if we had only heard one song. I saw so many bands back then , and then the opening bands would be awesome, and then they would come back, and then THEY would bring a rad band, etc. Shit just spiraled into this huge self suffienct scene. You would see the same people at all the shows, and have conversations, and find out about local music, and it was such a networking. This was way pre Myspace, so you couldnt get on a computer and judge a band by their shitty recording, you had to go and see them and find out for yourself! I even learned to actually play my guitar, and the next thing I knew, I was in school during the day, working at night and practicing with my little band on the weekends. It was rad. And in highschool, if youre in a band, no matter how bad, PEOPLE WILL COME WATCH YOU.

So yeah, it was awesome, I felt on top of the world. I was into pretty much anything "punk" post 94 and we were renting out this tiny little hall in a local park to put on our own shows. It was incredible. I played in several little bands at the time, and then in my senior year I started really appreciating the forefathers of punk; the misfits, ramones, dead kennedys, stuff like that. I was realizing that punk rock wasnt so much a sound but a way of life. When I saw Propagandhi in 00, 01, they brought an entire bookstore with them!! They had all kinds of radical books, and books on veganism, and all kinds of shit that I wasnt learning in school. I would read shit I had bought from there at home, and then bring it up in American Government class, much to the delight of my leftist teacher! He loved the discussions I would bring up. When I explained to the young republicans that Prescott Bush had traded War Bonds with Nazi Germany AFTER the US entered the war, they didnt believe me. THey looked into it, and were astounded. I learned so much from going out on my own and buyinjg books, because I had genuinely been enlightened by some bands I had seen on tour, it was a huge influence on me.

After highschool, I mellowed out a bit. I started realizing that you can like different styles of music. Now Ill take John Mellencamp over Bad Religion any day, but i still love some old Bad Religion records. Hell, the band I play in sounds like something from a Fat comp anyway, Im not too proud to admit it!

What punk rock means to me is friendship, inspiring others, learning, a quest for knowledge, making changes and fighting for whats right. I got caught up in the fashion of it when I was in middle school, but once I started listening to bands that had things to say I realized that punk rock was simply a microphone to get something off of your chest. Woody Guthrie, to me, is a total punker. Anti establishment folk groups of the 60s and 70s, its all the same. Standing up.

I miss hanging out at shows with my high school friends. It was such a community. Last time I saw Brandon, my band was doing a show with The Queers. He told me how floored he was that out of our little group of nobodies, one of us was able to get out and do something like we always dreamed, at least to some extent. I still consider myself a nobody, but I thought it was great that he felt that proud of our dreams and ideas, and the time we spent talking about life while listening to Screeching Weasel records. Im rambling now, but its kinda cool. Not that Im in any way saying im more than a nobody, because Im not. However, that one night, it was a special thing.

Unfortunately, I feel that today the spirit of "punk rock" is a ghost in the wind. People get parts of it, but not all of it. In Cincinnati, the "punk rock" bands are either so "punk rock" that they cant even play their instrunments, or they are too worried about who thinks they are cool because of what bands they are friends with, and what bars they are seen in. Its a shame, but its nice to go down memory lane from time to time and remember being an idealistic kid. I think I still am that a bit, and the day that I dont feel that way will be a very sad one, for sure.

When I write songs, I dont write them so people will agree with everything I say. My only hope is that in the years and years that I have been playing music, that some people may have liked what I was a part of and took it upon themselves to learn more, and better themselves on their own terms. I hope that this is also something that can happen in the future. With all these shitty mainstream bands telling kids how cool the Army is, I want to be a small grain of sand in the tiny beach that offers a true alternative for the mind and soul.

But again, Im an idealistic little kid.

I cant decide on what to listen to on the way home, Propagandhi or John Denver......

Eat the rich, Hate the poor

Something occured to me today in the lunchroom while I was nuking a veggie burger and having a casual conversation with a fellow coworker. Ok, well actually, Ive known this for a very long time, but its one of those things that still kind of blows you away when you hear someone say it. So, anyhow, were making conversation and of course the subject turns to the economy, as Im sure it is in any similar situation. In this conversation, my coworker asked me who I voted for, and I have no problem telling him, because I personally think that being shy about what you believe is silly. I told him I voted for Nader, and I thought that it was pretty clear that he had voted for Obama, based largely in part by the bumper stickers on his car. So, we get to talking about things that Obama is going to have to face, and I start the conversation with my dissapointment in his staffing choices, largely due to the fact that I think weve had Clinton once, and who needs that again, and he kind of agrees. Then we talk about the proposed billions to the automotive industry, and how that isnt going to really change anything, just sort of puts a bandaid on it. And then, in this small talk exchange he says that what our country needs to do is "end welfare". And Im thinking because of the topic of the conversation that he is speaking of corporate welfare, to which I agree wholeheartedly. However, I quickly learn that this isnt the case. He then goes on to say that it sucks how much money we give to people that dont need it, and that welfare is a scam, and people can get jobs, etc. This hits me pretty quick, and luckily the microwave alerts me with a loud beep that my veggie burger is done. This signals the end of the conversation.

So anyhow, the statements that were made really bothered the shit out of me, because I realized that I am somewhat guilty of a typical ignorance from time to time. The truth of the matter is, America hates its poor. Over the years, we have been so programmed to despise the poor that we let stereotypes control the way that we feel about them. Of course there are some people that abuse the welfare system. Does it costs us as much as it does when the automakers do? Hardly.. Also, not every struggling person in this country is doing so because they are lazy, in fact, thats not the case at all. Yet, weve been made to assume it. When my band played our first show back a month or so ago, one of the bands playing before us went on a tirade about how " when people on the street ask for change, I give em a McDonalds application". I wanted to let this guy know that he probably wasnt smart enough to work a McGreasetrap, though he looked like he had slept in one.. But thats here nor there. Anyhow, I hear shit like this all the time. Sure, there are some people that ask for change because they just want some fucking change. Then there are people like the gentleman I met on the streets of uptown Clifton a few years ago. It pains me that I forget his name, but Im not entirely sure he ever gave it to me. I was playing a show at Sudsy Malones, and I was standing outside in between bands, more than likely breathing beer fumes and huffing on a cigerette. An older man approached me, and he said that he didnt want anything from me, but that he was having a hard time and would appreciate it if I would just keep him some company. He was a Vietnam veteran, and was injured in the war. He came back home at the time and started drinking heavily(he actually scolded me for drinking) and became very addicted to alcohol and pain killers. He had a son, who he admitted he didnt treat very well, mainly because of the drugs and booze. Now his son wants nothing to do with him, and he doesnt even know how to get ahold of him. He said that he had heard that he had a grandson, but he knew he would never be allowed to come near him. He said that he had been on the streets for years, and drifts from city to city out of desperation. I listened to him, and I really didnt say a word because I know that he wanted me to listen. Of course this kind of story is what some would say is expected; a sob story from a panhandler that just wants your money. Ive met those people, but Im a trusting man and I dont judge people based off of stereotypes. I wasnt sure if he was telling me the truth or not. At that minute, he proved it to me, at least in my eyes. He pulled out a tattered wallet and showed me pics of him and some of his buddys from the Vietnam war. He also showed me a picture of his son, a child at the time. The picture was so worn out that I could hardly make it out. Now, this could have been a hoax too, why not. However, right around then someone yelled from the open door that it was time for me to start loading on the stage. At that time he asked me my name, shook my hand, thanked me, and continued on into the cold night. I ask myself if there was more I could have done, but I truly believe that he just wanted to vent his story. If he was shitting me then wouldnt he have wanted something more than just my company for 10 minutes? I sure think so.

I think about this from time to time, and its sickening to think that men and women all over this nation of ours are living on the streets like this. Sure, some are out the door because of booze, other drugs, others mental illness, etc, etc. I dont fucking care how they got there, personally. I know that alot of people fear the homeless, and simply tolerate the poor. However, it could happen to anyone, and we always need to remember that. There comes a time in every man and womans life that they need help, be it emotional, physical or otherwise, and everyone needs someone to be there. Alot of people dont have that, and our best response is to lock our car windows at stop signs and joke about McDonalds applications?

How dare we think these thoughts!

However, everyone has to have an enemy. In the average joe's world, that enemy has to be one that you can see, smell, hear and be annoyed by in the line at the grocery store. Yes, that would be the poor. And weve not only pitted the middle class and the rich against the poor, but the poor against the poorer. The low income working class person that I was speaking to earlier today thinks that the biggest problem in this country is the fact that we have a welfare system. Why? BEcause hes angry! People are pissed off and they want to have something or someone to take it out on, and you sure as hell arent going to be in the posistion to slug Rick Wagoner Jr anytime soon. So what do we do? We lash out at the poor.

The poor dont have it easy either. Everyone is shitting on them, even the guy down the street thats only a tad bit less poor. This is where everyones favorite long haired white asshole in sandals comes into play; yes, Mr. Jesus Christ. When you are desperate, you need answers, and you need a reason to wake up and face the day. Enter religion, and in this rant, Christianity. You ever drive through the most poor areas of a city? Youll find churches in every run down, failed building that used to be a family business. These places pop up out of complete and utter desperation. When you live like some of these people, you cant accept that this is it. This is why the poor are so close to God. And who can blame them? And these churches are making it worse with every Sunday morning sermon. "This is a test!! IN N HEAVEN WE WILL PROSPER!" These falls hopes keep beaming smiles on the faces of the poor. These beliefs keep them rooted in their situation with the false hope that the party in the sky will all be worth it. How sad. At the same time, little other things tend to get thrown into the mix. For instance, "family values". They are taught to love, but not those that the people pulling the puppet strings wouldnt want them to. They become the foreground of the wars that are waged in front of womens clinics. And they dont care, because this is their reason to live.

Of course, I am generalizing, and a bit stereotyping. However, its very scary how easy it is to manipulate the underpriviledged of this country and pit them against each other while the people at the top continue to push their agenda on them and force them to carry it out under the false premise of faith of love.

And yet, we dont even notice, because we are so appaulled by the guy asking us for change. How dare he do that! WHAT DID HE DO FOR ME?

Well, he may have taken a bullet, 30 years ago, never to be the same again.

But youll never know that because youll never stop to talk to him.

The moral in my longwinded rant is that sometimes you learn alot about the world simply by taking the time to talk to the people around you. Sometimes, youll learn alot about yourself in the process....