Thanksgiving!

Hello everyone. I hope that you have nice families to spend your holiday with, a roof over your head and some yummy food to eat. I am very fortunate in that I do have these things, and Im very much looking forward to enjoying all of them this weekend. Well, I guess Im more mooching off of my girlfriends wonderful family, but they treat me better than my own, so same thing!



Anyhow, obviously there are millions of people in this country that dont have these things. I urge people to donate whatever they have, no matter how little or how great, to whatever local organizations that you have that can feed the needy in your city or area. Based off of my "eat the rich, hate the poor" blog, I honestly try to give to non religion oriented organizations, but that doesnt mean that churches arent feeding people as well, even if they offer a large helping of rhetoric for dessert.. However, food is food. I also urge people to not only donate at the holidays, but year round when you are able to. People are hungry all year, not just at the end of the year. If you somehow stumbled here from my bands page and you come see a show in Cincinnati sometime, bring a few canned goods. I promise not to eat them, I will donate them to the Freestore.



I always like to focus on the positive when I can, but there is something else that bugs me that I would like to talk about today, and its a topic that is a sore topic for many and it gets heated at times. I dont want to come off as preachy, and I do believe that each person can make their own choice in this matter.



What am I discussing is incorporating compassion and ethics at the dinner table. As America lines up to buy turkeys, millions of animals will lose their lives and go through pain that we could never imagine just because they were born. This is insanely unfair.



I want to get this out right now. People hear that I am a vegetarian(have been vegan) in the past and the first thing that they bring up is "HEY, PETA". Ok, as a supporter of their cause, Im going to say fuck PETA. They do some great things, they work very hard for what they believe and they save many animals a year. I have supported them in the past on some issues and I will no doubt support them in the future as well. However, I have grown to become quite disgusted with their use of sexist propaganda to get their word across. I dont understand exploiting one group to save another. PETA turns more people OFF of animals rights in the mainstream then on, and I dont think that you should take them that seriously because of some of the ridiculous things that they say to get attention.



So please, dont associate all compassion for animals with extremist and childish organizations.



Anyway, all of us feel pain. And, we dont like it. I can get into plenty of reasons why eating meat is a tad bit irresponsible; its unhealthy due to lax controls on pesticides fed to animals, with the money it takes to raise a cow to die we could grow food for hundreds to eat and live, etc. No, Im going to go with the simple reason. Pain. Animals in slaughterhouses kick, scream, cry, etc. They arent stupid, they know whats coming. Why should they have to be literally tortured so we can eat food that really isnt very healthy/safe? It doesnt make sense to me. I dont eat meat because I dont believe in inflicting harm on animals or people. I love my life and I appreciate every breath I take, and I will do everything in my power to see that animals can as well.


Sure, alot of us have pets. We love our dogs, cats, etc. We would NEVER eat them!! Why? Because they are cute, and society says its crazy because of that. Why should cows, pigs and chickens be literally brought on this planet to live a life of torture, and thats ok, but its wrong to eat a dog? Why is it tradition for the President to pardon a turkey? Its obviously pardoning it from death, and we acknowledge that, but we make a sadistic game out of it. Weird...



Sure, it tastes good to many people. Sure, I wont argue its human nature. Killing is in our blood. We dont kill people because its wrong, so why is that not the case for animals. After all, we are all in the same kingdom, and alot of what we eat are mammals, just like us!



Again, these are my thoughts, and I am doing my best to not preach and come off as "holier than thou". I just strongly believe in these things and I want to share them. Thanksgiving is a sad time for the poor little animals that have no idea why they are being dipped in scalding hot water. Sure, its food to us, but before that it was a living breathing, feeling creature. And it lived a miserable painful life for nothing. Bummer, no?



For information on a meat free life style, check out http://www.veganoutreach.org/. They are an amazing group doing great things.



Pass the stuffing, but lets pardon all of the Turkeys this year, k?



Happy Thanksgiving, Ill be bitching about things in a day or two!

The power of Christ compels you!

Hey, whatsup! Some people seem to be reading this, thats awesome. Tell all your friends, well have fun!


Anyhow, I know Im a little late on a topic like this(about a month, to be exact...) but I figured it was a decent topic. Ok, here goes...


So, yesterday my girlfriend and I were enjoying a nice evening in, and I was washing some dishes, as we were getting ready to cook dinner. So, we have been watching the Unsolved Mysteries boxsets all day, because it was just that kind of nice, relaxing day. We love Unsolved Mysteries, and if you dont something is wrong with you, and should get checked out. So, anyway, as Im watching dishes, one of the episodes on the dvd is about Demonic Possesion, and Exorcisms and shit like that. Now, I dont believe in God, and I havent since about 3rd grade. However, ghost stories really intrigue me. I have always been into stuff like that. My girlfriend is always thinking Im crazy because I never read stuff like Doctor Seuss when I was a kid, but thats because in first grade I would check out books about the occult, UFOS, ghosts, legends, etc. Ive always been fascinated with the unknown. So, anyhow, being that I dont believe in God, Heaven, Hell, or anything of that stuff, I doesnt make sense that I would believe in "ghosts". And Im not sure that I do, though as said before, they intrigue the hell out of me. But for some reason, the topic of Demonic Possesion absolutely TERRIFIES me.

I truly cant explain it. I dont believe in demons, the devil, ghosts invading spirits, etc, but whenever I watch some silly special on shit like this, I get all freaked out. Obviously its disturbing to see someone with such a strong mental illness that makes them think that a demon is in their body, sure, thats a given. But sometimes in the back of my mind Im like, "hrm, maybe Im wrong on this, cause that looks fucked up. I did vote for Kerry in 04, so Ive certainly been wrong before. Hell, I bought the first Taking Back Sunday record, sometimes I obviously dont think things through.."



So, these dumb thoughts will run through my mind, and Ill start really scaring myself. Lastnight after rehearsal I tried to sleep and I woke up around 2am. I was pretty awake for some reason and realized I was hearing a tapping sound in my kitchen. I went in there, and nothing. I went to take a pee, because I do that sometimes, and I hear this noise again, a tapping, coming from my bedroom(the other side of my apartment, where I obviously was before checking out the noise in the kitchen) and by now Im kinda freaked out. So, I turn the lights on and see if my cat is doing something, but he isnt, in fact, hes fast asleep. Any normal night, I wouldnt give two thoughts to these noises. I live in the city, I hear weird shit outside every night. My window in my living room was open a tad, so the wind could have been blowing. It could have been someone outside in a car, as this happens alot. It could have been anything, and on any given night it would have been. But not lastnight. No, because lastnight I was sure it was something fucked up that I couldnt explain. Why? Because I was freaking myself out over nonsense. We all do it. You get freaked about something and then the next thing you know you wish it was morning and you were on your way to work. Or, Im a huge baby, who knows. Anyhow, the noise continued off and on for about an hour, and I figured it may have been a neighbor downstairs, as I did hear the water at some point. The weird thing is, I dont think anyone lives in the unit below me, as that is the only unit who I do not know who lives there... So yeah. I was creeped. Then it stopped, and I went right to sleep!

So, sure, this story is completely boring, but it freaked me out, ALOT.

So I ask you people that read this: What kind of fucked up crazy shit has scared the hell out of you over the years? Ive got a couple of good stories about my Moms house as well, but Ill save em for another rainy day. I dont want anyone to answer this with "Pete Wentz had a child". Sure, thats terrifying, but not what Im going for here.

Everyone have a safe Holiday this week, and spare a poor turkey and eat some veggies, kplzthnx!

Music!

Good evening to all. I for one am rather happy that here in the Midwest, its pretty fuckin cold! I love the cold, really, nothing feels better than walking outside and flipping the color up on your coat to stay warm. Its such a clean, crisp feeling. I love it!

So instead of bitching about how President Elect Barack Obama is nothing more than a Bill Clinton Part 2(he is though, way to go on being 2/2 on the clinton cabinet!!), I would rather talking about something that is exciting. The one thing that is guaranteed to excite me no matter what; music!

Music is pretty important. Without music, I have no idea what I would be doing with my spare time. I wouldnt know any of the people I know right now if it werent for music, and thats a fact. Today Im going to talk about "punk rock" and what it means to me.

I can hear the groans, what a lame topic, but fuck it, lets talk about it. When the average joe hears the words "punk rock" they think of morons in studded wrist bands beating the shit out of each other to a really bad off time band of lowlifes. This is still true to some extent... To me however, punk has always been about positivity. Im 26 years old, which means in 94 I was in the 6th grade. Who in the 6th grade knows anything about the underground? No one, unless you are a crack baby. So OF COURSE when Green Day, Offspring and Rancid were on the radio, I was completely in awe of how different it was from Nirvana, Metalica, Soundgarden, NIN and all the other 90s things that kids were listening to at the time. I still remember to this day the first time I bought Dookie, it was at a Biggs Hypermarket, on cassette. I bought it with Christmas money, and I also bought Boyz2Men II that day as well(because I have class). I took that tape home and listened to it a million times. I stretched the tape out in about a week. Sure, I was still into all of the MTV stuff that kids were into at the time, and IM pretty sure I had one of those Kurt Cobain, 1967-1994 tshirts that everyone had after he painted the room above his garage with his last tripped out thought. But no, this Green Day band was different! It was just unapologetic, catchy, but bold at the same time, and you just didnt know what to expect. Their lyrics and videos were somewhat vulgar, and yet they had this massive appeal. I FUCKING LOVED IT!! My 7th grade year Im pretty sure I owned like, 4 Green Day shirts. I wasnt special, there are literally 100s of thousands of kids my age that were the exact same. I was pretty into the grunge thing still in 7th grade though, I had some long hair and actually listened to Bush... Yeah, I know...

Cut to about a year later. That means 8th grade, if you werent paying attention. I had been plucking around on my first electric guitar that my parents got for me for 35 bucks at an yardsale type deal. I had no idea how to play, and I had this little battery powered amp. It was sad. So, a friend of mine, he was going to play bass, and we were going to start a band. He didnt have a bass, and I couldnt play a chord, but fuck it, we were a band. He said he knew some kid down the street that had some drums, and he was going to drum for us, and it was going to be freakin great. So like I said, Im still into shit like Stone Temple Pilots at the time, but I still really love Green Day! I cant put my finger on it, and by now everyone is telling me how "gay" I am for liking Green Day(not the most tolerant area, the Midwest). So, we get to this soon to be drummers house, and he has THE BIGGEST FUCKING STEREO I HAVE EVER SEEN. And hes fucking CRANKING some shit Ive never heard before. I hear some loud music behind a guy singing "Go to hell with Superman and die like a champion, yahea!!!!" It was the most AWESOME THING EVER. So, I ask this guy, "what the fuck is this, this rules!!" He told me that was nothing, and took the cd out of the player(i was still on cassettes, so color me fucking impressed). What he tossed me was what would send me on my journey to no health insurance and a rock hard liver; Epitaph records compilation, Punk-o-Rama.

Punk o Rama. I had never heard of any of these bands. Who the fuck are Bad Religion?? AWESOME, thats WHAT!! OH! And Rancid and Offspring are on here as well, cool! I know them! This music is so different, its so, I dunno, it reminds me of something, its... Holy shit, wait, is Green Day a punk band, I asked my friend. He tells me that he thinks so, and that they are pretty good. I certainly agree, as I have everything up to Insomniac at that point, and its all awesome.

So my new friend made me a tape copy of Punkorama. I listened to it an unhealthy amount, and I wanted more and more. I got to know this guy pretty well, and every day we had band practice. Granted, band practice meant I would bring my guitar over, throw itin the corner and we would use his new indoor skate ramp while eating pretzels and listening to Pennywise. Man, I fuckin loved Pennywise! THEY WERE SO FAST, HOW DOES A BAND GET SO FAST?? Our mutal friend Brandon was from the Charleston SC area, and he met us in school. He was kinda new, but he loved alot of punk bands I had never heard of. One day, my mom takes my drummer friend and I, along with Brandon, to the record store. Of course our drummer friend was the only one whose parents gave him money, so it was him doing the buying. So, we go into Cd World, the old location for all you Cincinnatians, and he asks the lady behind the counter if she likes a band he had heard on a few comps called NOFX. Her pink hair and nose ring were a dead give away, and she walked us over to all of the NOFX cds. Being that they had a lot of shit out(I think Heavy Petting Zoo was the most recent) we didnt have a CLUE what to pick up, so we asked her, what should we get if this is our first NOFX record? Ill never forget her response. She said, dont get Liberal Animation. It doesnt suck, but it kinda does. Ok.. well, how about this one? THAT ONE RULES! Ok, awesome. So we get back in my Moms minivan, all crowding around one dude with a discman(as I said, dudes parents gave him everything!) and listened to White Trash, Two Heebs and a Bean. When 11th grade rolled around and I finally got the joke, I LOVED IT MORE! So anyhow, we were floored. This band was the best fucking band we had ever heard, and I dont think I listened to Nirvana again for 12 years.

So, over the years, working shitty jobs, we would spend our entire paychecks buying whatever cds we could find by bands on all of these awesome comps. We had Epitaph pretty much locked down, hahaha. Then one day we learned that one of the dudes from NOFX had his own label, and it was supposed to be good. They had EVEN MORE BANDS that we had never heard of, and holy fuck, they are awesome! This No Use For a Name band is good!! Of course we were skateboarding, getting into trouble, watching skate videos, and the next thing we know its 9th grade and were a part of a pretty tight knit circle. We parted ways with the drummer boy, but Brandon and I remained close friends. We had it all, studded belts, orange hair, our own discmans, we didnt care what the "jocks" or the "thugs" thought and by the end of the year we were on our way to our first show ever, Ska Against Racism.

Now, as much as Ive grown to hate Ska, alot of bands were doing it then that I liked; Rancid did it a tad, I loved Op Ivy, NOFX threw upstrokes in there.. So we felt we should go. Plus, Brandon was really into this band called Less than Jake, who I had never heard of. So, we watch the show, and its the greatest thing we had ever seen. ALl these cool people, the loud music, the bands being hilarious, Mike Park dancing like an idiot, it was just amazing! I even met someone from 5 Iron Frenzy, which was cool at the time. Less than Jake were awesome! I bought Losing Streak and loved every second of it.

By 10th grade we would go to any show that was coming to Bogarts(our local 1200 capacity venue that we "cool enough" to know about)even if we had only heard one song. I saw so many bands back then , and then the opening bands would be awesome, and then they would come back, and then THEY would bring a rad band, etc. Shit just spiraled into this huge self suffienct scene. You would see the same people at all the shows, and have conversations, and find out about local music, and it was such a networking. This was way pre Myspace, so you couldnt get on a computer and judge a band by their shitty recording, you had to go and see them and find out for yourself! I even learned to actually play my guitar, and the next thing I knew, I was in school during the day, working at night and practicing with my little band on the weekends. It was rad. And in highschool, if youre in a band, no matter how bad, PEOPLE WILL COME WATCH YOU.

So yeah, it was awesome, I felt on top of the world. I was into pretty much anything "punk" post 94 and we were renting out this tiny little hall in a local park to put on our own shows. It was incredible. I played in several little bands at the time, and then in my senior year I started really appreciating the forefathers of punk; the misfits, ramones, dead kennedys, stuff like that. I was realizing that punk rock wasnt so much a sound but a way of life. When I saw Propagandhi in 00, 01, they brought an entire bookstore with them!! They had all kinds of radical books, and books on veganism, and all kinds of shit that I wasnt learning in school. I would read shit I had bought from there at home, and then bring it up in American Government class, much to the delight of my leftist teacher! He loved the discussions I would bring up. When I explained to the young republicans that Prescott Bush had traded War Bonds with Nazi Germany AFTER the US entered the war, they didnt believe me. THey looked into it, and were astounded. I learned so much from going out on my own and buyinjg books, because I had genuinely been enlightened by some bands I had seen on tour, it was a huge influence on me.

After highschool, I mellowed out a bit. I started realizing that you can like different styles of music. Now Ill take John Mellencamp over Bad Religion any day, but i still love some old Bad Religion records. Hell, the band I play in sounds like something from a Fat comp anyway, Im not too proud to admit it!

What punk rock means to me is friendship, inspiring others, learning, a quest for knowledge, making changes and fighting for whats right. I got caught up in the fashion of it when I was in middle school, but once I started listening to bands that had things to say I realized that punk rock was simply a microphone to get something off of your chest. Woody Guthrie, to me, is a total punker. Anti establishment folk groups of the 60s and 70s, its all the same. Standing up.

I miss hanging out at shows with my high school friends. It was such a community. Last time I saw Brandon, my band was doing a show with The Queers. He told me how floored he was that out of our little group of nobodies, one of us was able to get out and do something like we always dreamed, at least to some extent. I still consider myself a nobody, but I thought it was great that he felt that proud of our dreams and ideas, and the time we spent talking about life while listening to Screeching Weasel records. Im rambling now, but its kinda cool. Not that Im in any way saying im more than a nobody, because Im not. However, that one night, it was a special thing.

Unfortunately, I feel that today the spirit of "punk rock" is a ghost in the wind. People get parts of it, but not all of it. In Cincinnati, the "punk rock" bands are either so "punk rock" that they cant even play their instrunments, or they are too worried about who thinks they are cool because of what bands they are friends with, and what bars they are seen in. Its a shame, but its nice to go down memory lane from time to time and remember being an idealistic kid. I think I still am that a bit, and the day that I dont feel that way will be a very sad one, for sure.

When I write songs, I dont write them so people will agree with everything I say. My only hope is that in the years and years that I have been playing music, that some people may have liked what I was a part of and took it upon themselves to learn more, and better themselves on their own terms. I hope that this is also something that can happen in the future. With all these shitty mainstream bands telling kids how cool the Army is, I want to be a small grain of sand in the tiny beach that offers a true alternative for the mind and soul.

But again, Im an idealistic little kid.

I cant decide on what to listen to on the way home, Propagandhi or John Denver......

Eat the rich, Hate the poor

Something occured to me today in the lunchroom while I was nuking a veggie burger and having a casual conversation with a fellow coworker. Ok, well actually, Ive known this for a very long time, but its one of those things that still kind of blows you away when you hear someone say it. So, anyhow, were making conversation and of course the subject turns to the economy, as Im sure it is in any similar situation. In this conversation, my coworker asked me who I voted for, and I have no problem telling him, because I personally think that being shy about what you believe is silly. I told him I voted for Nader, and I thought that it was pretty clear that he had voted for Obama, based largely in part by the bumper stickers on his car. So, we get to talking about things that Obama is going to have to face, and I start the conversation with my dissapointment in his staffing choices, largely due to the fact that I think weve had Clinton once, and who needs that again, and he kind of agrees. Then we talk about the proposed billions to the automotive industry, and how that isnt going to really change anything, just sort of puts a bandaid on it. And then, in this small talk exchange he says that what our country needs to do is "end welfare". And Im thinking because of the topic of the conversation that he is speaking of corporate welfare, to which I agree wholeheartedly. However, I quickly learn that this isnt the case. He then goes on to say that it sucks how much money we give to people that dont need it, and that welfare is a scam, and people can get jobs, etc. This hits me pretty quick, and luckily the microwave alerts me with a loud beep that my veggie burger is done. This signals the end of the conversation.

So anyhow, the statements that were made really bothered the shit out of me, because I realized that I am somewhat guilty of a typical ignorance from time to time. The truth of the matter is, America hates its poor. Over the years, we have been so programmed to despise the poor that we let stereotypes control the way that we feel about them. Of course there are some people that abuse the welfare system. Does it costs us as much as it does when the automakers do? Hardly.. Also, not every struggling person in this country is doing so because they are lazy, in fact, thats not the case at all. Yet, weve been made to assume it. When my band played our first show back a month or so ago, one of the bands playing before us went on a tirade about how " when people on the street ask for change, I give em a McDonalds application". I wanted to let this guy know that he probably wasnt smart enough to work a McGreasetrap, though he looked like he had slept in one.. But thats here nor there. Anyhow, I hear shit like this all the time. Sure, there are some people that ask for change because they just want some fucking change. Then there are people like the gentleman I met on the streets of uptown Clifton a few years ago. It pains me that I forget his name, but Im not entirely sure he ever gave it to me. I was playing a show at Sudsy Malones, and I was standing outside in between bands, more than likely breathing beer fumes and huffing on a cigerette. An older man approached me, and he said that he didnt want anything from me, but that he was having a hard time and would appreciate it if I would just keep him some company. He was a Vietnam veteran, and was injured in the war. He came back home at the time and started drinking heavily(he actually scolded me for drinking) and became very addicted to alcohol and pain killers. He had a son, who he admitted he didnt treat very well, mainly because of the drugs and booze. Now his son wants nothing to do with him, and he doesnt even know how to get ahold of him. He said that he had heard that he had a grandson, but he knew he would never be allowed to come near him. He said that he had been on the streets for years, and drifts from city to city out of desperation. I listened to him, and I really didnt say a word because I know that he wanted me to listen. Of course this kind of story is what some would say is expected; a sob story from a panhandler that just wants your money. Ive met those people, but Im a trusting man and I dont judge people based off of stereotypes. I wasnt sure if he was telling me the truth or not. At that minute, he proved it to me, at least in my eyes. He pulled out a tattered wallet and showed me pics of him and some of his buddys from the Vietnam war. He also showed me a picture of his son, a child at the time. The picture was so worn out that I could hardly make it out. Now, this could have been a hoax too, why not. However, right around then someone yelled from the open door that it was time for me to start loading on the stage. At that time he asked me my name, shook my hand, thanked me, and continued on into the cold night. I ask myself if there was more I could have done, but I truly believe that he just wanted to vent his story. If he was shitting me then wouldnt he have wanted something more than just my company for 10 minutes? I sure think so.

I think about this from time to time, and its sickening to think that men and women all over this nation of ours are living on the streets like this. Sure, some are out the door because of booze, other drugs, others mental illness, etc, etc. I dont fucking care how they got there, personally. I know that alot of people fear the homeless, and simply tolerate the poor. However, it could happen to anyone, and we always need to remember that. There comes a time in every man and womans life that they need help, be it emotional, physical or otherwise, and everyone needs someone to be there. Alot of people dont have that, and our best response is to lock our car windows at stop signs and joke about McDonalds applications?

How dare we think these thoughts!

However, everyone has to have an enemy. In the average joe's world, that enemy has to be one that you can see, smell, hear and be annoyed by in the line at the grocery store. Yes, that would be the poor. And weve not only pitted the middle class and the rich against the poor, but the poor against the poorer. The low income working class person that I was speaking to earlier today thinks that the biggest problem in this country is the fact that we have a welfare system. Why? BEcause hes angry! People are pissed off and they want to have something or someone to take it out on, and you sure as hell arent going to be in the posistion to slug Rick Wagoner Jr anytime soon. So what do we do? We lash out at the poor.

The poor dont have it easy either. Everyone is shitting on them, even the guy down the street thats only a tad bit less poor. This is where everyones favorite long haired white asshole in sandals comes into play; yes, Mr. Jesus Christ. When you are desperate, you need answers, and you need a reason to wake up and face the day. Enter religion, and in this rant, Christianity. You ever drive through the most poor areas of a city? Youll find churches in every run down, failed building that used to be a family business. These places pop up out of complete and utter desperation. When you live like some of these people, you cant accept that this is it. This is why the poor are so close to God. And who can blame them? And these churches are making it worse with every Sunday morning sermon. "This is a test!! IN N HEAVEN WE WILL PROSPER!" These falls hopes keep beaming smiles on the faces of the poor. These beliefs keep them rooted in their situation with the false hope that the party in the sky will all be worth it. How sad. At the same time, little other things tend to get thrown into the mix. For instance, "family values". They are taught to love, but not those that the people pulling the puppet strings wouldnt want them to. They become the foreground of the wars that are waged in front of womens clinics. And they dont care, because this is their reason to live.

Of course, I am generalizing, and a bit stereotyping. However, its very scary how easy it is to manipulate the underpriviledged of this country and pit them against each other while the people at the top continue to push their agenda on them and force them to carry it out under the false premise of faith of love.

And yet, we dont even notice, because we are so appaulled by the guy asking us for change. How dare he do that! WHAT DID HE DO FOR ME?

Well, he may have taken a bullet, 30 years ago, never to be the same again.

But youll never know that because youll never stop to talk to him.

The moral in my longwinded rant is that sometimes you learn alot about the world simply by taking the time to talk to the people around you. Sometimes, youll learn alot about yourself in the process....

Its over! And we made it! The election is behind us. I have to admit, I had a blast on Election Day. My awesome girlfriend came over so I could have company as I threw beer cans at the television. I was pretty surprised by how quickly John McCain and his redneck choice of a vp were sent the fuck home. That was nice. Many Republicans lost their senate and house seats, which is also fucking great. Its obvious that Americans are unhappy about how things have been running, and hopefully the next time I hear the words "joe the plumber" its because Im ankle deep in shit and have a cell phone in one hand and a phone book in the other. Things really turned out great in some aspects.



However, when I say.......



Hold it. Dont you hate when people start something positive and then say, "however" before making their points? Its so irritating.



Yes, however indeed. Tuesday showed us that we want change. Polls of voters show that we want a way out of this economic nightmare, and that they dont believe a republican is going to that. This obviously because of GWB. People are afraid of him. There is only one thing in this country right now that terrifies people more than saying "george w bush's economic policy" to a crowd of people.



What is so terrifying?



Simple. IN fact, I get kinda scared thinking about it, and I have to turn around and make sure there arent any around..



Of course Im referring to Homosexuals.

GASPS!!!! I know, I know, I should have warned you before I said that word! SO FRIGHTENING!!!!



Of course I jest. However, this isnt really a joking matter at all, and its not funny in the slightest. In fact, its downright fucking sad. People in this country over the last 4 years(and since, you know, its inception) have trampled the rights of gay people in this country. Voters dont want them to get married, they dont want them to have sex, they dont even think that they should be allowed to adopt children(thanks, Arkansas, I cant imagine how proud you really are!!). This is a very huge frontier that we still have to conquer for Civil Rights in this country.

Yet, the mere mention of Homosexuals in the same sentence with Civil Rights INFURIATES many people. I cant understand it, I couldnt understand it in 04, and I dont think Ill ever be able to understand it. President Clinton, the Democrat that many people would Lewinsky if given the chance, adopted the military Dont Ask Dont Tell policy. This is incredible legistature that basically says, if you are a gross fag, keep it to yourself. How accepting!! President Elect Barack Obama is for civil unions, but against changing the "definition of marriage". What does that mean? It means he doesnt really like em either....

Yet, people get offended when you call homosexuals and their right to marry someone they love a fight for civil rights. Guess what people; just because dogs and firehoses arent being turned on these people, it doesnt mean we should be complacent with how they are treated. This country has a very violent, gang mentality past that we are slowly overcoming, but just because our hatred is now in our churches, state legislatures and ballots doesnt mean that it doesnt exist. We need to be aware of how people are treated, whether they look and fuck like we do or not..

Thats ok though. Proposition 8 passing in California is a major setback. Its alarming, but its something that we will overcome. The gay community and people like myself that wish to help them achieve the same rights that I enjoy will fight tooth and nail for this, and I know that these people have the spirit to fight. Its not going to be easy, which is why people like you and me should be in there swinging as well.

Chris from Propagandhi said it best " The system I oppose affords me the luxury of biting the hand that feeds. Thats exactly why priviledged fucks like me should feel obliged to whine and kick and scream until everyone has everything they need."

This couldnt be any more true in this situation.

More later.

That chick frosted me like a fucking cake!!!

Ah, we are almost here, the 08 election. I promise that my blog will be way up on the funny and way down with the political stuff once this shit is over. I mean, I only really care when its a big election year, because why care when theres nothing to vote for? Its not like you can really change anything, so why bother. Also, its really dumb that people would actually vote for Nader, Barr or any other third party candidate, because this election is so fucking close, why waste your vote? Its in infuriating.

Right?

Yeah, not even close. Not even in the slightest. Yet, tons and tons of people have been saying these kinds of things to me in the last couple months. Not stupid people, but people I consider pretty darned decent people, that I figured had brains, and the ability to use them. Lets start with the first one.

 Not Caring About That Boring Political Shit When its Not a Huge Election Year....

This completely apathetic approach to life is rampant in the area where I live. Typically you tend to think that a local art/music/punk/indie/whatever the fuck kind of scene is going to share progressive ideals. Im not saying that what I consider progressive shoud be the end all be all of what is progressive, but I feel very dissapointed that the simple things that I believe in are often mocked and ridiculed.

One of these things has been my endoresement of Ralph Nader for President in 08. Ive already talked about this on here, so do I dont feel the need to do so again. However, I dont understand why its such a radical idea to feel that a two party political system doesnt work, and while Barack Obama is defintely the lesser of the two evils, he is not the knight in shining armor that he is made out to be. Hes not even fucking close. The fact that he supported the bailout is a prime example of this, and yet, people dont want to hear that. They see themselves as being progressive for voting for "the black guy". I honestly feel that people are patting themselves on the back because they feel they are "doing the right thing". I would love to not have a white old man as a president, and its sad that its a progressive idea nationwide to have a black president, but I vote on what is best for the country, and not because I have some kind of a guilt eating away at me. Yet, Im continually told that because this "election is so close!!" that I am wasting my time voting for somene that isnt Barrack Obama.

Which brings me, in an extremely longwinded manner, to my point. Why is this election so close, and why does it feel like the election to end all elections, and that the dark days are just behind the corner? BECAUSE WE HAVE ALLOWED IT TO BE THAT WAY. Period. Only 56 percent of Americans voted in last years election, and I would be willing to bet that only 15 percent(im rounding up, for sure) of these voters pay attention to anything when its not an election year. The truth of the matter is that one person CAN make a difference. When we only half assed pay attention to commercials for a few months and then vote, we are making a grave mistake. Political inactivity is the prime reason that we are in the mess that we are in. We dont have to be voting for something to make a difference. Honestly, if we wait for our problems to be solved by a big ticket election, we have been sitting on our hands for entirely too long. For instance, in 07 in Hamilton Co(basically the city limits of Cincinnati, Oh) Commissioner Todd Portune and a few others drafted a new Hamilton Co. Tax that would go to building a new jail. A very similar tax code was in the works in 06, and was voted down by the people in the election. However, a few things were rephrased, and it was going to be put into the books, much to the chagrin of taxpayers and voters who had voted down basically the same thing the year before. This was not on any ballot this time. Instead of bitching about it, a handful of people, including the CEO of the company that employs me, took to the streets and petitioned to get a new vote for this. They worked very hard, and got the signatures that they need. The bill was put to a vote, and the people of Hamilton Co voted it out. This was acheived soley because people were paying attention and worked hard to find a solution. Whether or not you agree with the outcome is irrelevant, the point is that we can make a large difference 24/7, 365 days a year. We dont have to wait until we are entirely fucked to do something about what feel needs to be changed. The more we sit and wait and then reward ourselves for merely accepting the lesser evil in the voting booth, the more this country is going to slip into economic and social catastrophe.

I get very frustrated when my own peers shit talk me because I dont feel that I can be complacent with a shitty choice of a new leader. Sure, as Ive said for the last 7 months, Barrack Obama is the better candidate, but that doesnt mean that I think he will be a good leader. At least he isnt Kerry though, what a waste!

Overall, I think that we need to realize that times are tough, and even though we may not be personally affected by some of these things, it doesnt mean that they dont exist, and it doesnt mean that we should only let the people directly feeling the pressure fall because no one wanted to help them. This is huge in the case of Gay Marriage and Abortion. Sure, these things dont directly affect most of us. However, if they did, we would care alot more. Just because Im not gay means I shouldnt be offended when Joe Biden and Barrack Obama, the "liberal" choices, are extremely opposed to such? No! Just because Im not a woman that has had an abortion means that I should shut up, because a womans right doesnt concern me? No! It doesnt concern me, because I love the women in my life, and I think that they have the right to decide what happens to their bodies, and because of this I will not be quiet about it.

Yet, its these things that the "punk scene"(truly, for lack of better word, I feel extremely juvenille saying those words in a forum) around me is completely apathetic to. If it doesnt concern their right to drink at the bar and watch some shitty band from upstate New York in a basement, then they could give a rats ass... This is depressing. I only mention that because it was music that truly got me on the path to self education. When I went to shows in high school, bands brought pamplets, and their lyrics spoke of things you didnt hear about in class, and you met people and had great conversations. Now it seems that those bands and people are few and far between. Hell, NOFX played a DNC event this year! I understand that they want people to participate, but they should research these things before putting their name on it! 

I only hope that in making music over the years and talking to people I can get at least a handful of people to stop, look in the mirror and really think about why they are who they are, and why they believe what they believe. We all do it at some point, and sometimes, its shocking what we find out about ourselves.

Sure, just watching the newest sensation at the local cool guy dive bar is alot of fun. However, Id like a little bit of inteligence to come along with what I choose to align myself with, not just a mouthpiece telling me that I should shut up and accept what is going on. This is lazy, and overall dangerous. Its a frustrating world out there....

In any case, its been such a negative year for America. Attack ads, political pundits and talking heads bitching back and forth, its just been a mess. If you are looking to get away from it for two hours before going home and crying into your beer, then I recommend checking out the new Kevin Smith movie, Zach and Miri Make a Porno. My sides hurt when I left the theatre, and it felt great in a time when I feel that we all really need to laugh alittle before we go insane.

Those of us that care to pay attention, anyway. The blissful and willful ignorance of many of my peers must feel EXTREMELY liberating. I would be envious if I wasnt so dissappointed at the same time.

Joe The Uneducated Douchebag

Holy shit, If I hear one more moronic dildo talk about Joe The Plumber, Im going to fucking scream! Oh, wait, Im doing it too! IM AN ASSHOLE!









Look, I want this guy to go away just like anyone else, and I havent really listened to any of his idiotic nonsense, nor do I care about what the pundits and talking heads have to say about this guy. However, it is getting the point of the absurd, and the fact that Americans are actually paying any attention to this guy is really fucked up. This isnt an attack on the average joe, or joe sixpack, or hockey mom, or anyone else that isnt a political figure. This isnt an attack on the working class, because I guarantee Mr. Plumber makes a shit load more than I do. This is merely an attack on how little we actually think about the information that is given to us before we jump to completely assinine assumptions.







Im not even going to go into the facts about this guy (hello, didnt it come out that he wasnt even registered to vote? I could be wrong, as I dont give a rats ass, but I think I heard that somewhere before turning the radio off), no, Im going to go into the fact that he is being used and he doesnt even realize it. This guy was on record yesterday saying that he agrees with the opinion that Obama being elected president means that Israel's days are numbered. He really thinks that electing Obama is "scary". Really? More scary than electing anyone else?





The media is giving this guy attention, and he is on a SPEAKING TOUR right now. Why? Because it is a pathetic attempt by the McCain camp to appeal to the people of this country that know how many homes they own... none, or maybe 1, someday... Its attrocious! We have this completey uneducated hack paraded around by an old man that should be in an old folks home, spewing completely factless garbage to morons that are actually putting stock in it. The media is eating it up, and fueling the fire. This is dangerous. This is completely irresponsible campaigning, and it saddens me that I live in a country that would be duped by a stunt like this. Joe The Plumber is a pathetically ignorant American, and people look up to him. Now that's fucking scary.



Also, I saw on the news that a Christian Church in Indiana had a sign outside that said "Do We Want a Muslim For President?". I dont intend to vote for Barrack Obama because Im sick and tired of Democrats fucking shit up and letting the right do whatever they want, but this is a hateful and disgusting display of bigotry. The fact that it comes from a church is not surprisingly typical. This election has show America just how truly ugly we really are, and people arent even paying attention. I'll be glad when this shit is over with. Give me my dictator and get off my tv screen. Thats what Americans want, right? To not be inconvenienced with facts? If it works for the millions of people that actual say Joe The Plumber in a serious manner, then maybe it can work for me.



What do I do to make this happen? Make sure to watch sports, listen to morning shows, only read the local paper and play dumb when influencial things like religions are oppressing people? Sounds good, why should I care!



Yeah, it wont fly. I care because I cant not. The fact that people can be so fucking blind to things that directly affect them is infuriating, but at the same time I bet they sleep easy at night. Damn if you do, damned if you dont, right?

You know, before end this poorly structured rant, I have to mention how much it pisses me off that Republicans and Democrats try to appeal to each other so much in these annoying campaign ads. The most annoying of all of them is for a local seat in the Senate between two dickheads, one named Steve Chabot and the other named Steve Driehaus. Driehaus is the Democrat running for the position, against Republican Chabot who has held the office for quite awhile. In Driehaus's most recent ad, he mentions how he is anti Amnesty for Illegal Immigrants and pro making English the offical language of the USA. He is also Pro Life, and pro offshore drilling, immediately. He boasts these things so Republicans know that, "hey, Im just like you, an ignorant asshole!! VOTE FOR ME!!" And Citybeat, our extremely Liberal weekly freenews endorses him! We are too lazy and unconfrontational to stand up and say, both of these guys suck, lets look into an Independent that we will endorse anyone that is remotely different from GWB and Co. Its lazy, dangerous and will result in rooting more and more miserable excuses for human beings into our govenrment, both on a National and local scale.

Sure, George Bush and his regime was a horrible thing for this country. Electing people that are just a tad bit better because they have different name recognition isnt going to change anything.

I apologize for the haphazard nature of this rant. More to come!

Fuck You Aurora!

I havent blogged in awhile. I know the one or two people reading this are furious that I dont upkeep this better. I apologize, and I promise to be a better blogger! I have returned to bitch about a few random things, and Ill try to keep it short and sweet.

Well call this the random things that I dont really like very much and/or things that downright piss me off and make me so mad that I could just blog!

1) People with kids.

Ok, obviously that one is a bit harsh. Do I hate my mom because she had me, at one time, a kid? I dont think so.. not yet anyway. No, Im talking of a specific group of parents, the 20 something parents. I am a twenty something, and I can tell you I dont know shit about life, and its annoying that so many of the people in this bracket think that they do. I do know one thing though, having a kid wont make me understand.

I HATE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING when some 20 something tell me "ill understand when I have kids of my own." You ever hear this bullshit? One day at work I was bitching because some fucking idiot that CALLED US talked and laughed with her toddler while I was giving my "hello, blah blah blah" chorus. Fuckin rude? Yeah. She then told me that she thought I was a recording. Of course she didnt know for sure because SHE DIDNT FUCKING LISTEN BECAUSE SHE WAS TOO BUSY WITH HER LITTLE SHIT FACTORY. Of course as soon as I hung up the phone I had to berate and belittle this moron to my coworkers. One coworker said " youll understand when you have kids on your own." I pondered this for a second, and I realized that if Satan forbid I ever do have a kid, I dont want to learn this life lesson. Why? BECAUSE I CAN BE A SELF RIGHTEOUS, RUDE BASTARD ON MY OWN WITHOUT BLAMING IT ON THE KID THAT I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE A PARENT TO! It happens all the time, you go to a restaurant and some kid is running all over the place while Mom and Dad try to finish their Miller Lite and think of the good old days before the condom ended up a hat in a sonogram... If you have kids, its not cute when they bang into you at the grocery line, or cry when you are trying to have a nice meal, or spill shit on the floor so some poor shit can clean it up.. Its rude, and you are rude if you think that I give a rats about how cute you think it is. Learn to parent or keep the little fuckers at home.

2) Radio morning hosts on the radio.

This doesnt need any real explanation, they are all douchebags and they dont deserve to make the impressionable zombies of the early morning commute world think they are enlightened by giving their own insight into the Guy Ritchie-Madonna split.. Seriously, shut the fuck up, NO ONE CARES. If you do care, you are an idiot. Dont vote.

3) Celebrities trying to act humanitarian and telling me how to vote.

Everyone saw that video with Leonardo Dicaprio and all those other douchebags tryign to make people feel guilty if they dont vote. Like I really care what the dicknose from Superbad thinks.. Muscians, Politicians, Store Clerks, Pimps, Crack heads, anyone has a right to be political, say what you think and do what you feel is right as far as voting. However, I dont need millionares telling me that I need to donate money that I dont have and buy a hybrid I cant afford. If I made a shit load of money to make shitty movies like Titanic, I would buy 7 hybrids and give em to all best friends.. Just because Im not rich doesnt mean I dont care you fucking assholes.

4)People that act like they have never heard of a vegan/vegetarian.

It pisses me off when someone asks me if I want a chocolate bar, but I say no thanks, I dont eat that stuff and after prodding me for 5 minutes and it comes out that Im vegan they act like I just said I fuck little boys or something..(no, your clergy does that). They then feel the need to ask me "why". Look, I dont ask you why you eat so much candy that you resemble a can of blown up biscuits with teeth, so leave me the fuck alone, ok? If you want to have an inteligent conversation about food, nutrition, animal cruelty and economics then fine, but Im not a circus freak you cocksucker. Have a little bit of class for damiansakes!

Ok, I see, I see, I look like an asshole. I probably hate everything. Not true, I shall now follow with a list of shit that rules.

1) St Louis, MO

May seem weird, and I had no idea that this city was rad until I started going every so often with my girlfriend to see her sister. Let me tell ya, St Louis isnt great like Chicago, or whatever, but there is alot to do. Heres the best part, most of it is free. Want to hit the zoo? Its free. Science Center? Free. Museums? Free. Brewery tours? Ive done Schalfly and Budweiser, the two breweries in the city, and guess what? Both free. AND, both offer free beer while doing so!! Its great! Plus, Chuck Berry is from there. What more do you need?

2) The Fall

By far the best season. Nice and cool, pumpkin everything, the Misfits get exciting again and I get to rock sweaters. I look good in sweaters. Nothing beats the fall.

3)Gas station coffee

I love a good cup of coffee. Im not talking Starbucks(though I love it, who doesnt, seriously) but I mean I love a good cup of strong coffee from some far away country that is handpicked by the bloody hands of children(im kidding, though coffee trading is a MISERABLE thing)I also love a good cup of the ole Speedway coffee. I am sipping a pumpkin cappucino and its amazing. I know this thing has never seen a pumpkin or a cappucino in its life, but tis damn good and perfect for a drive in the cool fall morning.

4)Playing music

I dont have any big dreams of doing more than some regional touring and releasing albums, but my work both in my solo project and black tie bombers is the most rewarding thing on earth. An hour long jam with my friends that ends in a new song is the best feeling in the world? Doesnt make sense? Oh.. youll understand when you have a band... Seriously though, aside from a truck stop bj from a guy named Abraham, this is the best thing going for an instant high.

5)Beer

Its pretty great. Im really into pumpkin beers this time of year, and beer is a great thing as long as you arent being an idiot. Some times you just want to feel light and stupid, and nothing beats a cold beer after a long day of people showing you pics of their kids and asking you why you hate jesus and dont like steak.

6) Cats

People that say "I hate cats" are going to grow up to have more underage cock in their freezer than Jeffrey Dahmer. Cats are the cutest things in the world, you dont like cute? Weirdo...

7) Blogging!

How else would I have stayed awake long enough to get this coffee buzz to go away?

Anyhow, more positive than negative in this thread.

Wait, I forgot one thing to the hate list.

Ska. Ska is miserable, miserable music. Upstrokes and white dudes worshipping Bob Marley may be the worst trend in music, and there is currently a band called Forever The Sickest Kids. I love some of the ska punk stuff I grew up with, but not really.

Yes, I take it back, its all bad. Unless you count when NOFX do it. Then its good.

More later!

OMG OUR ECONOMICS IS BAD LOL

Good Evening, Blog Readers!

So, obviously for the last week and half or so, the American people have been scared shitless due to our "economic meltdown". Our "leaders" are bitching back and forth about who has the better plan, and in the meantime the average Joe is so fucking confused that they would rather just turn the tv off(or find Dancing With the Stars!) and not know whats going on. People are making this so hard. The Democrats want to add this and this to the "resolution", the Republicans want to add this, and this, etc.

Im here to let them know that I have the perfect plan!!! Everyone can go back on vacation and let me handle this motherfucker; I gots this shit!

My perfect plan?? We'll, first we have to make sure that we have everything we need for this plan to work. Here is my survival kit for the "economic meltdown"

Meltdown list
---------------

1) A few cases of your favorite beer. I enjoy a good pumpkin ale this time of year, so Ill take some of that. For you, be creative! But, if you arent creative and want some High Life, then getcha some High Life! Anyhow, were gonna need some beer, folks.

2) Ok, now were gonna need some... um.... shit...

Ok, heres the thing. I cant think of something else were gonna need. I only thought of beer. However, I can explain why that is. In my plan to fix this "economic meltdown", were going to fix the problem by NOT DOING A GODDAMNED THING!

Yep! Thats it! Sit back, relax, crack open that first cold one and just watch this shit go down. No government package deal is going to fix this! Open your fucking eyes! The markets and the government are already so intertwined that its embarassing to think that just pumping money into this thing is all that its going to take to fix it. Frankly, I dont give a flying fuck about fixing it! People talk about the Great Depression in times like this. Have you ever been to the east side of St Louis, or the really poor parts of Over The Rhine in Cincinnati? Or the slums of southern Los Angeles? Gary motherfucking Indiana?? You see, people, there are MILLIONS of people in our own backyard that live in a "great depression" every day of their miserable lives. No matter what happens to the stock market, the economic institutions, the banks, yaddya yaddya, many of these people are going to stay the way they were before it happened; fucked. Do you really think that the rich elite in this country will be affected by market fluxations? Of course not!! They GAIN from this! People see this shit on the news, they run out and buy a panic kit, and they go back home to prey to a God that doesnt exist to help them out of a problem that really isnt their problem to begin with!!

No, I say we dont bother. We let the whole fucking thing crash to a halt and hope that the generations coming can put it all back together in a way that actually makes sense.

Also, Id like to add that I am so fucking sick and tired of people telling me that I shouldnt look into voting for a third party candidate, because a vote for Nader, or whoever, is a vote for the right. PEOPLE THAT SAY THAT... STOP FREAKING SAYING IT. ITS ABSURD. I feel that the two party system in our country is ridiculous. Who says you can only have one of two opinions on something and be ok with it? Its a stupid idea. The truth is, we are told every year in our schools that WE(not as a whole, but each of us, individually) can make a difference. Yet, when someone like Ralph Nader tries to educate people on issues that the Republicrats wont bring up in their pointless debates and encouraging people to think outside of what handed to them, he is criticized and fought tooth and nail. The America that I thought we lived in was the America where one person can stand up for what they think is right and not be completely shut out for it. I personally am a big fan of getting votes to a group of people that genuinely give a shit, and arent out to "play the political game". Obama continues to dance around questions(where he believes life begins, is Sarah Palin qualifed to run) and his answers are more vague than the notion that Jack Atherton may actually dress himself in the morning(i cant let it go, sorry) anymore!! Hes so afraid that hes going to offend someone.. I WANT A PRESIDENT THAT WILL OFFEND PEOPLE. I want someone with the courage to say, "you are wrong, here is why, and i dont give a fuck what you think" Not in those terms, but you get my idea. I dont want Biden and Obama talking about what good of friends they are with McCain. You cant have such core differences and be that close. Hrm.... Maybe they really arent that different at the core, theres the physical difference. That one doesnt bother me, because IM not a racist. I dont care if both parties are magenta, I will vote for someone that shares my vaules, no matter what color.

Right now that color is Green! (yes, I added that in for the corny factor, Im not even going to get into the green movement right now)

Is Ralph Nader going to win? No. Does his involvement scare the Democrats enough to show their true colors? Absolutely, and that is what we need right now.

I cant tell you who is going to win. I can tell that if you are a "swing voter" in this day and age, and you fall between the two candidates, but just cant decide, well, you arent a swing voter. No, you are a fucking douchebag with no goddamned brain in your fucking head! What the fuck is wrong with you?? You really dont know how you feel about things enough to kind of know where you stand on things? You are the lowest common denominator..

Ah, the lowest common denominator.. The campaign trail blows MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of dollars trying win these morons over... Its INSANE.

Yeah, MILLIONS of dollars are thrown out of the fucking window to win over morons.


Yes, people are starving, and we are in a "crisis". Yet, the wealthy can raise money to throw it away for nothing.

Please understand if you dont see me jumping up and down hoping this gets fixed....

Sorry for the pissed off post... Band practice this evening, thatll put me in a better mood!

Until next time!

I saw this pretty cool movie, maybe youve seen it. Its called Animal House? Or something like that?

I'm getting old. Ok, well, maybe not really, but I feel pretty old. Granted, Im only 26. And, I just turned 26, so maybe I'm just a complainer. Granted, that has to be pretty obvious, or else I wouldn't have a blog..



So yeah, "the kids" are getting younger and younger these days.



Wait. I just said " the kids"... I guess that's proof that I'm getting kind of old.



Oh yeah, the reason for this whole thing.. Sorry, I get side tracked pretty quick...



I live in the "cool" part of Cincinnati, near our largest university. All of the cool coffee shops, restuarants, bars, the independent theatre, etc etc are located a few blocks from my apartment. I obviously chose this location because I enjoy all of these things, but I forgot a very, very important fact while making this decision.



I can't stand college kids. Now, don't get me wrong, I have friends in college, and I think college is a wonderful thing. Who doesn't? I'm not saying that every single kid in college is a douchebag. When I say college kids, I personally feel that they can broken down into several categories, which I will now share for you so we can all be on the same page...



1) Typical frat guy/sorority girl



Let's face it, the average person that you bump into in college that is involved with "greek life" is a total dingleberry. As with all things, there exeptions to the rule. For instance, I have heard of fraternities and sororities that do great things for the community, or actually help their fellow students. We aren't talking about these particular individuals... No, we are talking about the 5 year old kid whose dad came home from work at the insurance company every day half drunk from hitting the theme restaurant happpy hour on the way home. His dad and his buddys play cards once a week on Thursday nights, and while 20 bucks exchanges hands on the table and Budlite(totally mic ultra these days..) cans fill the trashcan, they talk about the crazy times at college back when they "ran the fuckin place". They have an entire room in their house dedicated to framed football jerseys from their school, and they always wear that old frat sweatshirt while mowing the lawn on Sunday afternoon. As the five year old kid gets older, he continually hears about this amazing party called college. He now knows he has to "make his old man proud" and attend the same school that pop did to make him happy. He knows its going to be an awesome party, but he just doesn't know why...



Then, one day when the kid is like, 13, and his dad comes home from a Bon Jovi cover band night at the local sports bar blitzed out of his mind, it all happens. His dad busts out the old scrapbook, and talks about how wild the nights were back at wherever tech, or whatever. Now this kid, an adolecent, hormone imbalanced mess, realizes JUST HOW COOL his dad really is. But, as it turns out, lots of dads were pretty cool, because by the time these kids are all 14, they are watching their dads college team play sports on tv, they own a foam finger, and they cant wait for their turn to be cool. By the time they are 15, they know to do just enough in school to get them into this fantasy world where the beer flows like, well, beer and the chicks are hot and everything goes. They work hard, and that first fall in college is amazing. THE CHICKS!!! THE BEER!!!! THE BROS!!!!!!!! Holy shit, this is so fucking cool!!!! Then, just when it couldnt get any cooler, its motherfuckin RUSH WEEK!!!!! This is the day when all of the future date rapist/rapees line up in front of their favorite frat house and do whatever humiliating thing they are asked, for that awesome rite of passage that is "greek life". They eat bugs, chug beer, puke up stuff, etc etc until the heard has been thinned. Then, it's all over. The best of the best are now part of Frat Row, and life is awesome!



Or, it was. Until these drunkan children wake up four years later with a degree in whatever business course they signed up for and realize that the party is all over. All of chicks are gone, the beer kegs are tapped and the frat house said to get the fuck on. Now these dudes realize that they have to get a job, move to burbs and start a family. They then realize that they have already lived the best 4 years of their lives, just like their dad did. They feel jaded, and ripped off. Why didnt dad tell him that frat life doesnt get you anywhere??? Oh, because he was a drunkan shithead! Well, what now???? HAHAHA, Ive got it! ILL HAVE A KID AND DO THE SAME THING TO HIM!! YEAH!!!



And so it starts again. Chances are most people you work with, buy something from on the internet, etc were once frat guys. You know, that cool mid 30s office manager that still goes to Lollapalooza and tells you about it because he thinks you care? Yeah, hes annoying because he was a frat guy before he was an office manager...



Ok, ATTENTION!! I get it, that last part was really long. I just really hate most frat guys(like I said, I know some ok frat dudes, but they are rare) and wanted to tell that story..



Lets move on to my second favorite college stereotype...



2) College indierocker/hippy/punker/hiphop dudes and dudettes



We all know these kids. These are the kids that hang out at the coffee shop, wearing the Against Me! hoodie while telling all of their friends how great and underground Against Me! are while Against Me! are playing in town and they don't even know about it. They are the local PETA chapter that found out about PETA from a flier, but end up managing a steakhouse after college. They are the annoying hip hop kid with the skateboard that tells me how great this new artist Sage Francis is. They are the kids that go into a record store and buy all of the band tshirts that are brown, or have something really artsy on them without ever hearing the band, then they go home and buy the records on itunes and then act as if these bands have been their life for the last 10 years... Hey, I heard Death Cab years ago, it still sucks, ok? These kids are pretentious as hell, and have no reason to be because the old guy that they are ringing out at the grocery store has acually been to a show and isnt impressed with their newfound knowledge. These kids are the worst, and any attempt to put them in their place in front of all of their friends is crucial. Is that childish? Sure, but if you dont bring these bloated egos down quickly they will turn into Jack Atherton, and God knows that Cincinnati/the world does NOT NEED ANOTHER JACK ATHERTON! For instance, once at the gas station by my apartment...



Girl behind the counter with partially green hair: Is that a band tattoo?

me, looking at the floor, wishing I was dead and gritting my teeth: yes(i have an alkaline trio tattoo, which probably make this entire post EXTREMELY ironic to those 4 years older than me...)

girl:oh, I thought so. I really like them. I also love underoath.

me:ok

girl, dissapointed that I wasnt impressed with her knowledge, somewhat sulky and now a bit bummed: oh.. well... here is your change...



It's just something that you have to do from time to time.



And on to the last group...



3) The "im so different than everyone else here" crowd.



We all know them. They are the kids on campus that didnt make it to Frat Row, and there wasnt an extra seat for them at the coffee shop, hearing about this new Against Me! band. However, even if there had been, they wouldnt have gone. They are way too above that stuff. They often bump shoulders with the hip kids and the frat dudes at the local Hot Topic, only while Frat Guy is picking up the new Hatebreed and Hip Chick is buying whatever she can find from The Postal Service, the "different" kid is snatching the new Nightmare Before Christmas bag, which is going to come in handy BIG TIME when they are taking their LARPING(look it up, its real) books to the "other coffee shop" down the street(the one that no one wants to go to) to talk DandD and the newest anime. These kids want so deep down to be a part of the other groups, but since they are just a little weird, they know that they never will. Instead of just taking a self eval to see what it is that creeps people the fuck out, they instead turn that trait up to 11 and embrace "who they are". The difference between these kids and the others? They all end up in the same office building, only, much like college, no one likes them there either. Why? Because no one wants to hear you quote lines from Napolean Dynamite on a Monday morning after a crazy reunion weekend with their COOL college buds. It didnt work then and it wont now, so just fucking stop it!!



The point to all of this?



Hrm... Probably that Im 26 and feeling old, and proving so by bitching about the "kids". I cant help it! You buy a can of Sparks at the corner store and have the 17/18 year old pimple faced moron behind the counter tell you to "get your drank on" and tell me that Im bitching about nothing....



I feel a bit out of touch, and work a lame job, and play some music with my band. I then realize when I feel out of touch that its probably a good thing. I dont need to fit in.



Right?



RIGHT???

Wait a minute, this sounds familiar!!



OH SHIT!!!!

IM WORSE OFF THAN "THE DIFFERENT CROWD" AND I DIDNT EVEN GET AN EDUCATION!!! FUCK!!

The lesson, kids? Dont ever listen to me. Ever.

More later!!

And on the seventh day, God created.. ahea ym.. I got nothing...

Blog number 1!!!!

Yeah, I'm not really excited at all. I doubt that many people will read this, and I will look down on those people that do with a burning and sincere hatred. Why do we waste our time typing and reading these stupid things? I find the entire blog thing to be hilarious. Im from Cincinnati, and our local news anchor, Jack Atherton is always talking about his "hard hitting blog" that "you wont find anywhere else". Let me get this straight, Jack. You are getting paid to be on tv 5 nights a week to keep me informed about what is going on in my city and you still beg people to read your blog every night?? What it is about blogs??? Why do we crave them?? Jack Atherton isnt the only one(but boy does the shit he writes put me to sleep, hard hitting my ass!) We all have one of these things! When Im watching Meet the Press on Sunday morning, I hear them talk about the speculations of bloggers on the big issues. WHO CARES WHAT BLOGGERS THINK!?!?!?! In the words of Wayne Campbell, have we all gone mental?? Any jackass can have a blog, but it isnt like any jackass can just run the country!! Right?!?!?

Wait, what was that?

YOU CAN BE A RANDOM JACKOFF AND RUN THE COUNTRY???

Thats fucking AWESOME!! Well, what do I have to do??? Sign me up!!!!

Oh, wait, what? I have to be from Alaska? No thanks, I saw 30 Days of Night, I know that no one lives there besides vampires and Josh Hartnet(jeez, I feel bad putting vampires in this category..) But, you know, maybe I can move there, if it means I can run the country. I do hate my job enough to something so simple, right? I bet you have to have some pretty rad shit under your belt to get this honor besides just living in Alaska, right?

EW, REALLY? You have to be a HOCKEY MOM? Gross. Well, they did play Sega Hockey in Swingers, and that is a damn fine movie, so... Ok, sure!!! What else??

NO!!! I... NO..! I will not do it. I will not say "Whats the difference between a pitbull and a Hockey Mom- Lipstick". I cant do it. Id get laughed off of the podium!! What the hell kind of advisor are you?

Oh, Sarah WHO's advisor? SHE RUNNING FOR WHAT?????

Phew... Sorry, I nodded off. For a second there I was having a nightmare about a completely underqualified redneck woman from a state that sucks so much that more people would rather live in Cincinnati than there, and I dreamed that she was the vice presidential Republican Candidate who will be the president if elected, being that the Presidential candidate is 72 years old and could die any second now..

Wait, that wasnt a nightmare??? SHIT!!!! Well who have the Democrats got in there to make sure this doesnt happen? JOE BIDEN?? The old guy that cant comb the back of his hair and said basically that Obama was a huge moron that has no business being President? Well, ok... seems weird, who is his running mate. OBAMA??

I think Im going back to sleep. For months. Pass me some Colt 45 and the link to Jack Athertons blog...

Speaking of terrible fuckin ideas, whats up with Katy Perry? I hear all of this buzz about this new singer, and then I hear it on the radio 4 times a day(I dont control the radio in the office) and it pretty much sucks. She sings about kissing a girl, but not in a, Im a lesbian, Im coming out of the closet and I dont give a fuck about you and your opinions kind of way; but, in a hey im dry humping this chick on a skinamaxx flick so middle aged dudes can sleep with the woman next to them that they never should have married in the first place.. Why do people like this again? Its pretty offensive to women and homosexuals. I for one, as a woman and/or a homosexual sure wouldnt want people judging me by one of the shittiest songs Ive ever heard. I mean, at least if someone hears Benny and The Jets and thinks all gay men are like Elton John, well, thats at least awesome!

Lets see, what else. Travis Barker. Plane Crash. Burnt. I dont have any vendetta against the guy, and I hope that he is ok, and being burned would be awful, etc. However, 4 people that get paid to watch him(if you have a bodyguard and arent the leader of a nation, you are a fucking asshole) are dead.. Their names? Couldnt tell ya, people are too busy talking about Travis Barker.. Americans are obsessed with celebrities, and I couldnt even begin to tell ya why. Not even cool celebrities like Vince Vaughn, but like, really stupid ones like those morons from the Hills.. I dont get it....

Ok, thats all for now I do think. I doubt this will catch on. In the meantime, Ill be hitting up my boy Jack's blog to make sure that Im doing this correctly.

Until next time!!