Joe The Uneducated Douchebag

Holy shit, If I hear one more moronic dildo talk about Joe The Plumber, Im going to fucking scream! Oh, wait, Im doing it too! IM AN ASSHOLE!









Look, I want this guy to go away just like anyone else, and I havent really listened to any of his idiotic nonsense, nor do I care about what the pundits and talking heads have to say about this guy. However, it is getting the point of the absurd, and the fact that Americans are actually paying any attention to this guy is really fucked up. This isnt an attack on the average joe, or joe sixpack, or hockey mom, or anyone else that isnt a political figure. This isnt an attack on the working class, because I guarantee Mr. Plumber makes a shit load more than I do. This is merely an attack on how little we actually think about the information that is given to us before we jump to completely assinine assumptions.







Im not even going to go into the facts about this guy (hello, didnt it come out that he wasnt even registered to vote? I could be wrong, as I dont give a rats ass, but I think I heard that somewhere before turning the radio off), no, Im going to go into the fact that he is being used and he doesnt even realize it. This guy was on record yesterday saying that he agrees with the opinion that Obama being elected president means that Israel's days are numbered. He really thinks that electing Obama is "scary". Really? More scary than electing anyone else?





The media is giving this guy attention, and he is on a SPEAKING TOUR right now. Why? Because it is a pathetic attempt by the McCain camp to appeal to the people of this country that know how many homes they own... none, or maybe 1, someday... Its attrocious! We have this completey uneducated hack paraded around by an old man that should be in an old folks home, spewing completely factless garbage to morons that are actually putting stock in it. The media is eating it up, and fueling the fire. This is dangerous. This is completely irresponsible campaigning, and it saddens me that I live in a country that would be duped by a stunt like this. Joe The Plumber is a pathetically ignorant American, and people look up to him. Now that's fucking scary.



Also, I saw on the news that a Christian Church in Indiana had a sign outside that said "Do We Want a Muslim For President?". I dont intend to vote for Barrack Obama because Im sick and tired of Democrats fucking shit up and letting the right do whatever they want, but this is a hateful and disgusting display of bigotry. The fact that it comes from a church is not surprisingly typical. This election has show America just how truly ugly we really are, and people arent even paying attention. I'll be glad when this shit is over with. Give me my dictator and get off my tv screen. Thats what Americans want, right? To not be inconvenienced with facts? If it works for the millions of people that actual say Joe The Plumber in a serious manner, then maybe it can work for me.



What do I do to make this happen? Make sure to watch sports, listen to morning shows, only read the local paper and play dumb when influencial things like religions are oppressing people? Sounds good, why should I care!



Yeah, it wont fly. I care because I cant not. The fact that people can be so fucking blind to things that directly affect them is infuriating, but at the same time I bet they sleep easy at night. Damn if you do, damned if you dont, right?

You know, before end this poorly structured rant, I have to mention how much it pisses me off that Republicans and Democrats try to appeal to each other so much in these annoying campaign ads. The most annoying of all of them is for a local seat in the Senate between two dickheads, one named Steve Chabot and the other named Steve Driehaus. Driehaus is the Democrat running for the position, against Republican Chabot who has held the office for quite awhile. In Driehaus's most recent ad, he mentions how he is anti Amnesty for Illegal Immigrants and pro making English the offical language of the USA. He is also Pro Life, and pro offshore drilling, immediately. He boasts these things so Republicans know that, "hey, Im just like you, an ignorant asshole!! VOTE FOR ME!!" And Citybeat, our extremely Liberal weekly freenews endorses him! We are too lazy and unconfrontational to stand up and say, both of these guys suck, lets look into an Independent that we will endorse anyone that is remotely different from GWB and Co. Its lazy, dangerous and will result in rooting more and more miserable excuses for human beings into our govenrment, both on a National and local scale.

Sure, George Bush and his regime was a horrible thing for this country. Electing people that are just a tad bit better because they have different name recognition isnt going to change anything.

I apologize for the haphazard nature of this rant. More to come!

Fuck You Aurora!

I havent blogged in awhile. I know the one or two people reading this are furious that I dont upkeep this better. I apologize, and I promise to be a better blogger! I have returned to bitch about a few random things, and Ill try to keep it short and sweet.

Well call this the random things that I dont really like very much and/or things that downright piss me off and make me so mad that I could just blog!

1) People with kids.

Ok, obviously that one is a bit harsh. Do I hate my mom because she had me, at one time, a kid? I dont think so.. not yet anyway. No, Im talking of a specific group of parents, the 20 something parents. I am a twenty something, and I can tell you I dont know shit about life, and its annoying that so many of the people in this bracket think that they do. I do know one thing though, having a kid wont make me understand.

I HATE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING when some 20 something tell me "ill understand when I have kids of my own." You ever hear this bullshit? One day at work I was bitching because some fucking idiot that CALLED US talked and laughed with her toddler while I was giving my "hello, blah blah blah" chorus. Fuckin rude? Yeah. She then told me that she thought I was a recording. Of course she didnt know for sure because SHE DIDNT FUCKING LISTEN BECAUSE SHE WAS TOO BUSY WITH HER LITTLE SHIT FACTORY. Of course as soon as I hung up the phone I had to berate and belittle this moron to my coworkers. One coworker said " youll understand when you have kids on your own." I pondered this for a second, and I realized that if Satan forbid I ever do have a kid, I dont want to learn this life lesson. Why? BECAUSE I CAN BE A SELF RIGHTEOUS, RUDE BASTARD ON MY OWN WITHOUT BLAMING IT ON THE KID THAT I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE A PARENT TO! It happens all the time, you go to a restaurant and some kid is running all over the place while Mom and Dad try to finish their Miller Lite and think of the good old days before the condom ended up a hat in a sonogram... If you have kids, its not cute when they bang into you at the grocery line, or cry when you are trying to have a nice meal, or spill shit on the floor so some poor shit can clean it up.. Its rude, and you are rude if you think that I give a rats about how cute you think it is. Learn to parent or keep the little fuckers at home.

2) Radio morning hosts on the radio.

This doesnt need any real explanation, they are all douchebags and they dont deserve to make the impressionable zombies of the early morning commute world think they are enlightened by giving their own insight into the Guy Ritchie-Madonna split.. Seriously, shut the fuck up, NO ONE CARES. If you do care, you are an idiot. Dont vote.

3) Celebrities trying to act humanitarian and telling me how to vote.

Everyone saw that video with Leonardo Dicaprio and all those other douchebags tryign to make people feel guilty if they dont vote. Like I really care what the dicknose from Superbad thinks.. Muscians, Politicians, Store Clerks, Pimps, Crack heads, anyone has a right to be political, say what you think and do what you feel is right as far as voting. However, I dont need millionares telling me that I need to donate money that I dont have and buy a hybrid I cant afford. If I made a shit load of money to make shitty movies like Titanic, I would buy 7 hybrids and give em to all best friends.. Just because Im not rich doesnt mean I dont care you fucking assholes.

4)People that act like they have never heard of a vegan/vegetarian.

It pisses me off when someone asks me if I want a chocolate bar, but I say no thanks, I dont eat that stuff and after prodding me for 5 minutes and it comes out that Im vegan they act like I just said I fuck little boys or something..(no, your clergy does that). They then feel the need to ask me "why". Look, I dont ask you why you eat so much candy that you resemble a can of blown up biscuits with teeth, so leave me the fuck alone, ok? If you want to have an inteligent conversation about food, nutrition, animal cruelty and economics then fine, but Im not a circus freak you cocksucker. Have a little bit of class for damiansakes!

Ok, I see, I see, I look like an asshole. I probably hate everything. Not true, I shall now follow with a list of shit that rules.

1) St Louis, MO

May seem weird, and I had no idea that this city was rad until I started going every so often with my girlfriend to see her sister. Let me tell ya, St Louis isnt great like Chicago, or whatever, but there is alot to do. Heres the best part, most of it is free. Want to hit the zoo? Its free. Science Center? Free. Museums? Free. Brewery tours? Ive done Schalfly and Budweiser, the two breweries in the city, and guess what? Both free. AND, both offer free beer while doing so!! Its great! Plus, Chuck Berry is from there. What more do you need?

2) The Fall

By far the best season. Nice and cool, pumpkin everything, the Misfits get exciting again and I get to rock sweaters. I look good in sweaters. Nothing beats the fall.

3)Gas station coffee

I love a good cup of coffee. Im not talking Starbucks(though I love it, who doesnt, seriously) but I mean I love a good cup of strong coffee from some far away country that is handpicked by the bloody hands of children(im kidding, though coffee trading is a MISERABLE thing)I also love a good cup of the ole Speedway coffee. I am sipping a pumpkin cappucino and its amazing. I know this thing has never seen a pumpkin or a cappucino in its life, but tis damn good and perfect for a drive in the cool fall morning.

4)Playing music

I dont have any big dreams of doing more than some regional touring and releasing albums, but my work both in my solo project and black tie bombers is the most rewarding thing on earth. An hour long jam with my friends that ends in a new song is the best feeling in the world? Doesnt make sense? Oh.. youll understand when you have a band... Seriously though, aside from a truck stop bj from a guy named Abraham, this is the best thing going for an instant high.

5)Beer

Its pretty great. Im really into pumpkin beers this time of year, and beer is a great thing as long as you arent being an idiot. Some times you just want to feel light and stupid, and nothing beats a cold beer after a long day of people showing you pics of their kids and asking you why you hate jesus and dont like steak.

6) Cats

People that say "I hate cats" are going to grow up to have more underage cock in their freezer than Jeffrey Dahmer. Cats are the cutest things in the world, you dont like cute? Weirdo...

7) Blogging!

How else would I have stayed awake long enough to get this coffee buzz to go away?

Anyhow, more positive than negative in this thread.

Wait, I forgot one thing to the hate list.

Ska. Ska is miserable, miserable music. Upstrokes and white dudes worshipping Bob Marley may be the worst trend in music, and there is currently a band called Forever The Sickest Kids. I love some of the ska punk stuff I grew up with, but not really.

Yes, I take it back, its all bad. Unless you count when NOFX do it. Then its good.

More later!

OMG OUR ECONOMICS IS BAD LOL

Good Evening, Blog Readers!

So, obviously for the last week and half or so, the American people have been scared shitless due to our "economic meltdown". Our "leaders" are bitching back and forth about who has the better plan, and in the meantime the average Joe is so fucking confused that they would rather just turn the tv off(or find Dancing With the Stars!) and not know whats going on. People are making this so hard. The Democrats want to add this and this to the "resolution", the Republicans want to add this, and this, etc.

Im here to let them know that I have the perfect plan!!! Everyone can go back on vacation and let me handle this motherfucker; I gots this shit!

My perfect plan?? We'll, first we have to make sure that we have everything we need for this plan to work. Here is my survival kit for the "economic meltdown"

Meltdown list
---------------

1) A few cases of your favorite beer. I enjoy a good pumpkin ale this time of year, so Ill take some of that. For you, be creative! But, if you arent creative and want some High Life, then getcha some High Life! Anyhow, were gonna need some beer, folks.

2) Ok, now were gonna need some... um.... shit...

Ok, heres the thing. I cant think of something else were gonna need. I only thought of beer. However, I can explain why that is. In my plan to fix this "economic meltdown", were going to fix the problem by NOT DOING A GODDAMNED THING!

Yep! Thats it! Sit back, relax, crack open that first cold one and just watch this shit go down. No government package deal is going to fix this! Open your fucking eyes! The markets and the government are already so intertwined that its embarassing to think that just pumping money into this thing is all that its going to take to fix it. Frankly, I dont give a flying fuck about fixing it! People talk about the Great Depression in times like this. Have you ever been to the east side of St Louis, or the really poor parts of Over The Rhine in Cincinnati? Or the slums of southern Los Angeles? Gary motherfucking Indiana?? You see, people, there are MILLIONS of people in our own backyard that live in a "great depression" every day of their miserable lives. No matter what happens to the stock market, the economic institutions, the banks, yaddya yaddya, many of these people are going to stay the way they were before it happened; fucked. Do you really think that the rich elite in this country will be affected by market fluxations? Of course not!! They GAIN from this! People see this shit on the news, they run out and buy a panic kit, and they go back home to prey to a God that doesnt exist to help them out of a problem that really isnt their problem to begin with!!

No, I say we dont bother. We let the whole fucking thing crash to a halt and hope that the generations coming can put it all back together in a way that actually makes sense.

Also, Id like to add that I am so fucking sick and tired of people telling me that I shouldnt look into voting for a third party candidate, because a vote for Nader, or whoever, is a vote for the right. PEOPLE THAT SAY THAT... STOP FREAKING SAYING IT. ITS ABSURD. I feel that the two party system in our country is ridiculous. Who says you can only have one of two opinions on something and be ok with it? Its a stupid idea. The truth is, we are told every year in our schools that WE(not as a whole, but each of us, individually) can make a difference. Yet, when someone like Ralph Nader tries to educate people on issues that the Republicrats wont bring up in their pointless debates and encouraging people to think outside of what handed to them, he is criticized and fought tooth and nail. The America that I thought we lived in was the America where one person can stand up for what they think is right and not be completely shut out for it. I personally am a big fan of getting votes to a group of people that genuinely give a shit, and arent out to "play the political game". Obama continues to dance around questions(where he believes life begins, is Sarah Palin qualifed to run) and his answers are more vague than the notion that Jack Atherton may actually dress himself in the morning(i cant let it go, sorry) anymore!! Hes so afraid that hes going to offend someone.. I WANT A PRESIDENT THAT WILL OFFEND PEOPLE. I want someone with the courage to say, "you are wrong, here is why, and i dont give a fuck what you think" Not in those terms, but you get my idea. I dont want Biden and Obama talking about what good of friends they are with McCain. You cant have such core differences and be that close. Hrm.... Maybe they really arent that different at the core, theres the physical difference. That one doesnt bother me, because IM not a racist. I dont care if both parties are magenta, I will vote for someone that shares my vaules, no matter what color.

Right now that color is Green! (yes, I added that in for the corny factor, Im not even going to get into the green movement right now)

Is Ralph Nader going to win? No. Does his involvement scare the Democrats enough to show their true colors? Absolutely, and that is what we need right now.

I cant tell you who is going to win. I can tell that if you are a "swing voter" in this day and age, and you fall between the two candidates, but just cant decide, well, you arent a swing voter. No, you are a fucking douchebag with no goddamned brain in your fucking head! What the fuck is wrong with you?? You really dont know how you feel about things enough to kind of know where you stand on things? You are the lowest common denominator..

Ah, the lowest common denominator.. The campaign trail blows MILLIONS AND MILLIONS of dollars trying win these morons over... Its INSANE.

Yeah, MILLIONS of dollars are thrown out of the fucking window to win over morons.


Yes, people are starving, and we are in a "crisis". Yet, the wealthy can raise money to throw it away for nothing.

Please understand if you dont see me jumping up and down hoping this gets fixed....

Sorry for the pissed off post... Band practice this evening, thatll put me in a better mood!

Until next time!