Hope and.. fuck it!

It is 18 degrees outside of my house right now. I honestly could not be happier about this. I love cold weather. People tell me all the time that I'm totally freaking crazy because of this. I enjoy winter, what can I say?! It's such a wonderful time for me. There is nothing better than the first lungful of icy cold air in the morning to wake you up and remind you that you have a life to live. There is nothing more beautiful than the moon reflecting from frozen pools of water on the side of a lonely highway in the middle of the night. There is nothing better than a brightly lit house at Christmastime(I haven't believed in God since the second grade and I love Christmastime, fuck you Gretchen from Fox News and your "war on Christmas"). I can't help it, I love the winter. I enjoy the darkness, it's very soothing to me. Of course, it is very obvious why I am ABLE to enjoy the winter; I have a place to go to get warm. Unfortunately, this is not the case for so many people in this country.

What is the difference between the homeless guy at the end of the street and myself? In most cases, it's one thing-luck. Yes, luck. It isn't because I work harder, or because I'm better, or smarter, it's because I'm lucky. Most of us will come into hard times. That is a simple truth and fact that we all must accept and understand. However, not all of us are going to get out of hard times unscathed. There are a shit ton of homeless people that have mental illnesses that they cannot afford to treat. Can you imagine what it is like to be living on the street because you have a disease that you did nothing to inherit? It's heartbreaking, and an absolute reality. Are all homeless people mentally ill? I wouldn't dare make that distinction. However, it is one of the many hard luck reasons that some people are going to fucking freeze to death this year. Think about that for a second, just a fucking second. Someone is going to freeze to death, scared and miserable and alone, because they just had bad luck.

Of course, what makes that fact even harder to stomach is that while some people have nothing, literally, in this country, there are some that are fighting to keep more. These people aren't fighting to keep a roof over their heads, or food in their families stomachs, they are fighting to stay rich and powerful. Who am I talking about? Well, it should be obvious by now. I am talking about the richest one percent of our nation that controls about 25 percent of the wealth. Think about that one too. 1 percent of people earn 25% of the countries wealth. Those people must have worked hard to be that elite, right? Right! They fought very hard; through lobbies, and back door legislation and overall bullying of the working class. They use the Republicans and Democrats as their foot soldiers in a way to keep them Godlike in wealth. Much like the poor homeless eating out of a garbage can, these motherfuckers got lucky.

How could they get any luckier? Just ask Barack Obama, as he is their new weapon in this war. The GOP has the working class in a stranglehold. They are refusing to vote for tax cuts for the working class if the richest of the rich do not get them as well. This is 300 bucks for you and me and 1 million for them. Obama played right into it, and BAM, hope and change continues to mean more of the same. There is some opposition to these tyrants, Bernie Sanders being one that is really shining right now. However, we are in this mess because our leaders are playing pingpong with bills that will benefit the richest Americans no matter what, as they have for the last 30 years. Barack Obama and all of his hype has nothing to stop this ongoing process. Remember that the next time you tell me "This time it's too important to not vote, we have to pick the least of two evils".

At this point, I don't think that there is one. Greed will always rule over compassion when the richest are concerned. How much more will we take until we are all frozen on a door step on a cold winter night?

One time, at the hookah bar...

It's December first! And it snowed today! And I TOTALLY busted out the Merle Haggard, Johnny Cash, Emmylou Harris and Reverend Horton Heat Christmas records! This may seem really weird to some. Why on Earth would I care about Christmas? I'm a firm Atheist (have been since 2nd grade, I wasn't just drawing underwear on people's drawings) and I really don't enjoy Capitalism. I also don't care for crowds of human beings. Come to think of it, red and green aren't even close to my favorite colors.... So, what is it about Christmastime and December that draws me in?

It's really quite simple; MAGIC! Yes, this time of year is quite magic. Magic sucks me into enjoying songs about Jesus, it allows Santa Clause to come down your chimney and it also transforms mean spirited pricks into humanitarian savants! Please allow me to tell yet another fictional story to explain what I mean by that last one. Here goes...

Once upon a time, there was a dude named Dave. Dave has had a pretty good life, and he is now in his late 40s, early 50s. He owns a company in a medium sized Midwestern city that makes a product and sells it on the internet to retailers. Now, Dave is a really cool guy. Or, he probably was in the 80s. Truth be told, he did enough blow in the 80s to not even know that the cold war is now over, that Reagan is dead and that people aren't going to take you seriously as a business owner if you have a mullet and wear shorts with suit jackets. Yes, Dave is slightly out of touch. Ok, he's actually really fucking out of touch, but he does ok. He employs a couple dozen people, and he feels rather Godlike because of that. Dave doesn't pay very well, but those pricks are lucky to have work as it is, ya know? So, Dave likes to do totally wacky things to show you how relevant he is, like rocking the newest Christian rock band in his office or adding cool Y ending nick names to your real name. He's a wink and gun finger kind of guy. When you actually have to look into his empty eyes and realize that there isn't anyone home, it's kinda sad, so Dave likes to just say hi to you on the go. Like I said, hes really wacky and relevant, and just ZANY!

So, Dave and his other friends(the guy that runs the Cleaners down the street, the biggest White Stripes fan to ever work for an insurance company and the local Grand Wizard of the KKK) have recently discovered the Tea Party. Dave is all about the Tea Party, because he can memorize two words at a time, like "TAX" and "SPEND". He's anti social programs, which is funny, because he pays so shitty that a lot of his own employees have to seek these government services to stay alive. Dave doesn't pick up on these life facts because hes to busy watching Eddie Money interviews on VHI Classic to actually learn about his "peeps". Dave even said that the Tea Parties were the only political groups that made sense, and included his zaniness into his beliefs by passing out free bottles of tea on Tax Day. Little to his knowledge, some of his employees took two bottles, since their children can't afford milk. 

So, Dave pushes this nonsense that he truly doesn't understand, he pays like crap and when he isn't walking buy your cubicle and saying "GOOD MORNING RONNNNNNNY!" hes passed out half drunk watching Glenn Beck. It's obvious that he doesn't care about poor people, as 11 months out of the year, he does nothing to help them.  But then, that MAGIC happens!

Now thats its Christmastime, and he is closest thing to Christ he's ever met, hes now pushing for everything to pitch in for the "needy", and people that lost their jobs. He is SOO concerned, and he really wants you to know it. He is such a humanitarian. He may even stand behind a vat of soup before heading back to his McMansion on Christmas Eve, especially if the local paper is there with a camera. Otherwise, it would be bad for business!

The moral of the story is this; Dave is a dingleberry and people are cold, hungry and in need of assistance 12 months out of the year instead of just one. If you truly want to help people, then please do. However, if you are giving yourself a Christmas present via pat on the back, why bother? Dave has two tickets to paradise, so go ahead, you'll leave tonight. Those of us that aren't total fucking hypocrites will take care of it. 

It's more of a slap in the face to pretend that you give a shit, so if you don't, just don't!

I don't like to feel sorry for myself. Who does? Its pathetic, it is not? Who wants to be so miserable that they get joy out of directing pity inward? I would like to hope that no one would. However, for today and today only, I am feeling sorry for myself. Not only am I feeling sorry for myself, but I am actually feeling extremely selfish as well. To show you just how selfish I am feeling, I would like you to join me in feeling sorry for me. That's kind of fucked up, isn't it? Why on earth would I want people to feel sorry for me? For you information, I could't have a better reason; I just turned my television to the E! network! 

I know, I know, why would anyone ever do such a thing? I honestly couldn't tell you. However, I can tell you one thing from the 37 seconds of television I just witnessed; as a society, we are completely and utterly fucked. I just saw a commercial for a show called Bridalplasty. This is the sickest thing that I have ever seen, and I have seen Caligula....

I understand that reality television is nothing new. I understand that the intellectual bar has been consistently lowered for the last decade in a way that it never has before. However, I have never seen anything this disturbing in my entire life. The basic premise of the show, or so I gathered from the tiny amount that I could stomach, is that a large group of women are competing for a chance to get a full body butchering just in time for their dream wedding. The winner of each challenge gets small prizes, like BOTOX injections...

Yes, the people that want to participate in this are fucked up. However, this comes full circle, which I will explain  in a bit. What is more fucked up is that there are people that dream this shit up. There are board meetings, and discussion groups of people that prey on the fears, insecurities and vanity of the American people, just so they can use these things against them to force them to compete and lower any standards that they may have once had. What they are competing for is perfection; something that simply doesn't exist. Or does it? Well, it does actually, on these television shows! It all comes full circle. If there ever was a twisted cycle of shit eating, this is certainly it. However, when the average Josephine is constantly comparing themselves to images on the tv, who can blame them for eventually losing track of reality? The producers of this bile are hoping that you do! 

However, what is more fucked up than the peddlers of this garbage or the contestants are people like you and me. People that turn on the tv and see this shit and say to ourselves, "haha, look at the trash!" I have news for you, but this makes you just as bad, if not worse. If you set aside time to watch The Jersey Shore because you think that Snooki is insanely trashy, then chances are you could someday be a cast member on one of these shows. 

We are constantly being dumbed down as a nation. All of the popular music that we hear on the radio is made to be sold. The movies we watch are remakes of movies we watched as kids. The news programs we watch are commercials disguised as anything but a commercial. Now we have stooped so low as to watch people that struggle with body issues fight for plastic surgery so they can be the "perfect person"? 

I'll pass. but you can do whatever you'd like. However, when we are working as slaves in a sweatshop making fake body parts that will be sold to.. well, us, don't say I didn't warn you! 

Shoot the messenger-- IN THE FACE

The Holidays are a wonderful time of year, are they not? There is wonderful snow, jammed roads, commercials that show us that women will pretty much do ANYTHING for diamonds and inflatable Christmas globes in front of houses that contain starving children. The Holidays are the perfect time in America to sit back and look at just how misguided the priorities of the average person truly are. I was hoping that this year would be different than the countless Holidays before, but chances for that are typically slim.

Luckily, this year Julian Assange and the other tireless volunteers at Wikileaks have given us all an early gift; the gift of information. Yes, that is right. Information. And what could be bad about that? Well, there are certainly those that are already saying that this is far worse than bad, this is TERRORISM! Yawn. I mean, YAWN. Americans have been hearing talking heads ramble about these cable leaks for the last 48 hours and have already come to their own conclusions- and that is that they do not have the ability to come to their own conclusions. I heard it with my own ears, a person that makes a living working for a company that makes machines that kill people in wars calling Wikileaks a terrorist organization. That is extremely interesting to me, for very obvious reasons.

See, I was always taught as a kid to not be an asshole to other people. If you know me, you know that I failed pretty hard in that field, but I can certainly acknowledge that I am at times, an asshole. Since I have been able to come to that conclusion, I will use myself in a hypothetical situation. Say I am in second grade, and I am talking while the teacher is talking, using curse words and taking other people's drawings and then drawing underwear on the faces of the people in said drawings*. This could potentially make the kids around me angry. Now, not all of the kids are going to say anything, because they may not want their Big Bird picture to get some BVDs drawn on them, so they sit quiet. However, there may be that one person that is just upset enough that she is going to stop what she is doing and interrupt the teacher to tell her what I am doing. Well, when the teacher made me go sit in the hall, it wasn't because one girl got pissed off enough to tell on me, it was because I was being a snot nosed prick and my own actions got me into trouble. I will be the first to admit that the hypothetical second grade me in this perhaps fictional tale was pretty pissed at the whistleblower that got me into trouble, but at the end of the day I can clearly remember what I was thinking; why in the hell did I do those things? Am I an idiot? It wasn't easy, but I was able to walk over to the girl with the ruined drawing at the end of the day and say, "I'm sorry I drew underwear on your picture, no hard feelings that you told on me". It was quite the life lesson. We all moved on. It was really pretty simple, was it not?

Of course, knowing that Saudi Arabia is a large funder of terrorism, and is pressuring the US to bomb Iran(not to be confused with the hit single by John McCain http://www.cnn.com/POLITICS/blogs/politicalticker/2007/04/mccain-sings-bomb-bomb-iran.html) or that Yemen and the US have agreed to lie to the public about US war planes bombing targets in Yemen, or the US using Embassies for spying on EVERYONE is much hard to move on from than underwear, but all are pretty shitty(you see what I did there!?)

So, now that we have this information, we have options. Number 1 is that we completely ignore it and watch sports on tv and go to work and talk about how "we" almost won on Sunday. This will be used by most of the pleasantly ignorant public. That's fine, just stop saying "we" you bastards... Option 2 is that we ACTUALLY READ THESE DOCUMENTS OURSELVES AND MAKE OUR OWN JUDGEMENTS. This will not happen on a large scale, but of the 3 options, it is clearly the best. We have the information, so why not bitch and kick and scream at our leaders that are doing all of this fucked up shit so they know its not ok anymore. Its a small chance, but if we tell these turds to actually work FOR US as they pretend they are, then maybe they will. Crazy, I know, the thought of informing ourselves and acting on said information. That would be dumb. Which leads me to number three. GET PISSED! Not at our leaders, but AT WIKILEAKS! Blame the messenger. And don't just shoot them, lock them up at Gitmo and throw away the key!! Call them criminals! Call them terrorists! Make everyone hate them by saying that they are putting innocent troops and diplomats in harms way! Call for their heads! You know what, block off all news outlets that aren't Fox and make the internet completely harmless! Make them pa....

What the fuck, why did you interrupt me, I was ranting and raving and shit! Oh,option three has already happened and the internet is being completely attacked? Obama said that "countless lives are at stake because of this? ICE is taking down bit torrent sites for no reason whatsoever? Really? Way to go America! Blissfully fucking ignorant since 1776!

Read the cables ya dongs!

http://cablegate.wikileaks.org/

* That story was true. I was a fucking weird little shit in the second grade.