Fuck You Aurora!

I havent blogged in awhile. I know the one or two people reading this are furious that I dont upkeep this better. I apologize, and I promise to be a better blogger! I have returned to bitch about a few random things, and Ill try to keep it short and sweet.

Well call this the random things that I dont really like very much and/or things that downright piss me off and make me so mad that I could just blog!

1) People with kids.

Ok, obviously that one is a bit harsh. Do I hate my mom because she had me, at one time, a kid? I dont think so.. not yet anyway. No, Im talking of a specific group of parents, the 20 something parents. I am a twenty something, and I can tell you I dont know shit about life, and its annoying that so many of the people in this bracket think that they do. I do know one thing though, having a kid wont make me understand.

I HATE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING when some 20 something tell me "ill understand when I have kids of my own." You ever hear this bullshit? One day at work I was bitching because some fucking idiot that CALLED US talked and laughed with her toddler while I was giving my "hello, blah blah blah" chorus. Fuckin rude? Yeah. She then told me that she thought I was a recording. Of course she didnt know for sure because SHE DIDNT FUCKING LISTEN BECAUSE SHE WAS TOO BUSY WITH HER LITTLE SHIT FACTORY. Of course as soon as I hung up the phone I had to berate and belittle this moron to my coworkers. One coworker said " youll understand when you have kids on your own." I pondered this for a second, and I realized that if Satan forbid I ever do have a kid, I dont want to learn this life lesson. Why? BECAUSE I CAN BE A SELF RIGHTEOUS, RUDE BASTARD ON MY OWN WITHOUT BLAMING IT ON THE KID THAT I DONT KNOW HOW TO BE A PARENT TO! It happens all the time, you go to a restaurant and some kid is running all over the place while Mom and Dad try to finish their Miller Lite and think of the good old days before the condom ended up a hat in a sonogram... If you have kids, its not cute when they bang into you at the grocery line, or cry when you are trying to have a nice meal, or spill shit on the floor so some poor shit can clean it up.. Its rude, and you are rude if you think that I give a rats about how cute you think it is. Learn to parent or keep the little fuckers at home.

2) Radio morning hosts on the radio.

This doesnt need any real explanation, they are all douchebags and they dont deserve to make the impressionable zombies of the early morning commute world think they are enlightened by giving their own insight into the Guy Ritchie-Madonna split.. Seriously, shut the fuck up, NO ONE CARES. If you do care, you are an idiot. Dont vote.

3) Celebrities trying to act humanitarian and telling me how to vote.

Everyone saw that video with Leonardo Dicaprio and all those other douchebags tryign to make people feel guilty if they dont vote. Like I really care what the dicknose from Superbad thinks.. Muscians, Politicians, Store Clerks, Pimps, Crack heads, anyone has a right to be political, say what you think and do what you feel is right as far as voting. However, I dont need millionares telling me that I need to donate money that I dont have and buy a hybrid I cant afford. If I made a shit load of money to make shitty movies like Titanic, I would buy 7 hybrids and give em to all best friends.. Just because Im not rich doesnt mean I dont care you fucking assholes.

4)People that act like they have never heard of a vegan/vegetarian.

It pisses me off when someone asks me if I want a chocolate bar, but I say no thanks, I dont eat that stuff and after prodding me for 5 minutes and it comes out that Im vegan they act like I just said I fuck little boys or something..(no, your clergy does that). They then feel the need to ask me "why". Look, I dont ask you why you eat so much candy that you resemble a can of blown up biscuits with teeth, so leave me the fuck alone, ok? If you want to have an inteligent conversation about food, nutrition, animal cruelty and economics then fine, but Im not a circus freak you cocksucker. Have a little bit of class for damiansakes!

Ok, I see, I see, I look like an asshole. I probably hate everything. Not true, I shall now follow with a list of shit that rules.

1) St Louis, MO

May seem weird, and I had no idea that this city was rad until I started going every so often with my girlfriend to see her sister. Let me tell ya, St Louis isnt great like Chicago, or whatever, but there is alot to do. Heres the best part, most of it is free. Want to hit the zoo? Its free. Science Center? Free. Museums? Free. Brewery tours? Ive done Schalfly and Budweiser, the two breweries in the city, and guess what? Both free. AND, both offer free beer while doing so!! Its great! Plus, Chuck Berry is from there. What more do you need?

2) The Fall

By far the best season. Nice and cool, pumpkin everything, the Misfits get exciting again and I get to rock sweaters. I look good in sweaters. Nothing beats the fall.

3)Gas station coffee

I love a good cup of coffee. Im not talking Starbucks(though I love it, who doesnt, seriously) but I mean I love a good cup of strong coffee from some far away country that is handpicked by the bloody hands of children(im kidding, though coffee trading is a MISERABLE thing)I also love a good cup of the ole Speedway coffee. I am sipping a pumpkin cappucino and its amazing. I know this thing has never seen a pumpkin or a cappucino in its life, but tis damn good and perfect for a drive in the cool fall morning.

4)Playing music

I dont have any big dreams of doing more than some regional touring and releasing albums, but my work both in my solo project and black tie bombers is the most rewarding thing on earth. An hour long jam with my friends that ends in a new song is the best feeling in the world? Doesnt make sense? Oh.. youll understand when you have a band... Seriously though, aside from a truck stop bj from a guy named Abraham, this is the best thing going for an instant high.

5)Beer

Its pretty great. Im really into pumpkin beers this time of year, and beer is a great thing as long as you arent being an idiot. Some times you just want to feel light and stupid, and nothing beats a cold beer after a long day of people showing you pics of their kids and asking you why you hate jesus and dont like steak.

6) Cats

People that say "I hate cats" are going to grow up to have more underage cock in their freezer than Jeffrey Dahmer. Cats are the cutest things in the world, you dont like cute? Weirdo...

7) Blogging!

How else would I have stayed awake long enough to get this coffee buzz to go away?

Anyhow, more positive than negative in this thread.

Wait, I forgot one thing to the hate list.

Ska. Ska is miserable, miserable music. Upstrokes and white dudes worshipping Bob Marley may be the worst trend in music, and there is currently a band called Forever The Sickest Kids. I love some of the ska punk stuff I grew up with, but not really.

Yes, I take it back, its all bad. Unless you count when NOFX do it. Then its good.

More later!